[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly
gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."=

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He
shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally
pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a
raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols".

 - from Sue Greene

--
http://sherm.20megsfree.com/burgerking.swf

 - from Wes Nicoll

--
The Teacher, Ms. Pelzner, was very curious about how each of her students
celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy.

"Tell me Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?" she asked.

Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Pelzner, me and my twelve brothers
and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home
very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings.
Then, all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with
all our toys."

"Very nice Patrick," she said.

"Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?"

"Well, Ms. Pelzner, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and
we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the
chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa
Claus to bring our presents, " Jimmy replied.

"That's also very nice Jimmy," she said.

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him
out of the discussion, she asked Isaac Cohen the same question.

"Now Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"

Isaac said, "Well, we also sing carols!"

Surprised, Ms Pelzner questioned further. "Tell us what you sing."

"Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We
all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory. When we get
inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing, 'What A Friend
We Have In Jesus.' Then we all go to the Bahamas.

 - from Ron Coveney

--
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