[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

http://media1.stream2you.com/rnc/072304v2.wmv

 - from Brad Whitley

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If we are flying the flag at half staff for 30 days for Pres. Regan, will we
have to wear our pants around our knees for 30 days when Clinton dies?

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This is a short poem made up entirely of actual quotations from George W.
Bush. They have been arranged, for aesthetic purposes only, by Washington
Post writer Richard Thompson. A wonderful Haiku like this is too good not to
share.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet
Become more few?

How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.

I know that the human being
And the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope,
Where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

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How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

The Answer is SEVEN:

(1) one to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced;

(2) one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions
about the light bulb;

(3) one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light
bulb;

(4) one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret
stockpile of light bulbs;

(5) one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay
Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a light bulb;

(6) one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the light bulb
while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag;

(7) and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a
light bulb and screwing the country

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Feeling heat from the world community over the absence of weapons of mass
destruction in Iraq, Condoleezza Rice asked President Bush, "Why can't we
just plant weapons of mass destruction?"

Bush replied, "We can't plant weapon's in Iraq. Nothing grows in the
desert."

 - from Jimi Pocius

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