[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go
fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone
for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've
been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out
my rod and tackle box? We're leaving from the office & I will swing by the
house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she does
exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he came home a little
tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he
caught many fish?

He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why
didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies, "I did, they're in your tackle box."

 - from Lucy Nicoll

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A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home
because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of Anal Glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is Anal Glaucoma?".......

She replies - "I can't see my ass coming into work today."

 - from Karen Hallgren

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TOP 11 Top-level Domain suggestions rejected by ICANN

11) .fubar: Once .gov is full
10) .nigerianoilministerswithcash: Because there's one born every minute
 9) .smut: At least you know what you're getting yourself into
 8) .dotdot: For the Web site that has everything
 7) .cry: For IT admins' support groups
 6) .what: For when you're not sure about the site address ... or the
Internet itself
 5) .dotcom: From the Department of Redundancy Department
 4) .%@#!$&*^: For sites like TheComplaintStation or AOLSucks
 3) .bomb: For Internet-only start-ups ... automatically converts to .com
after a year of profitability
 2) .crap: To let surfers know your site stinks before they access it
 1) .exe: Enough already with .com!

TOP 11 signs you may be a redneck IT administrator

11) Your spam filter accepts all content referencing the Civil War
10) The server-room door sign prohibits "vittles, tobaccy and 'shine"
 9) You tell your staffers not to feel constrained to using only 0s and 1s,
"'cause there's always a place for good ol' No. 2!"
 8) You're not surprised to discover your child process is also the parent
of your other child process
 7) You're reluctant to use the term "IP" outside the IT department
 6) The gap from your missing tooth is just right for stripping Cat 5
jackets
 5) When security asks to see your ID badge, you show your belt buckle
 4) Your fire-suppression plan involves beer
 3) You still have a daisy-wheel printer 'cuz of Daisy Duke
 2) You name all your servers with NASCAR numbers ... but the No. 3 server
is forever retired (an old P-60)
 1) You find Bud Lite cans perfect for RF shielding

Top 11 IT skills you should never use at home

11) Naming your children "strong" user names like Fr3d to prevent identity
theft
10) Patching your roof as many times as you patch Windows before replacing
it
 9) Using your flowchart skills to increase the speed at which your spouse
prepares for a night on the town
 8) Suggesting route optimization to the local mail carrier
 7) Using Kronos to schedule your bathroom breaks
 6) Creating a secure tunnel directly from the beer tap to your stomach,
especially while load balancing between taps
 5) Referring to your spouse's new haircut as an upgrade
 4) Asking your mechanic the cost of consolidating parts from older family
cars into a single upgrade
 3) Employing a hot-swap protocol when experiencing difficulties with your
spouse
 2) Applying a firmware upgrade to your toaster
 1) Stringing Christmas lights the same way you string Ethernet

 - from John Raso

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