[Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think: Another Mandolin Player...

Thu Feb 10 08:27:33 EST 2005

Mark and Slim:
I traded "down" to a mandolin about three years ago. A wonderful 
instrument, they sound so surreal, I fell in love with the sound years ago 
but never had the ambition to learn the thing. I still have my little 
Ovation guitar (which fits fine on Menagerie), but don't hardly every play 
it anymore. Being able to play mandolin (somewhat); there's never a 
shortage of other acoustic (and sometimes electric) musicians to jam with 
around here. The instrument has a built in pickup if I need more volume, I 
just hook it up to my little Krate amp and crank away! ..
jw
Jim White
Le Menagerie

At 06:59 PM 2/9/2005, you wrote:
>Mark,
>
>Wow! You had an Alembic!?  I've never even seen one except in the hands of
>Stanley Clarke.  You must have agonized over selling it.  But after 15
>years--yep, let it go to someone who will play it.
>
>A mandolin is a great boat instrument.  I used to have one years ago but I
>left it in the back seat of my car on a hot day, and it disintegrated. 8-(
>Sometimes I bring my ukulele onboard.  And harmonica.
>
>Slim
>
>On 2/9/05 6:10 PM, "Mark Kaynor" <mark at kaynor.org> wrote:
>
> > Slim,
> >
> > Nah. Kinda miss it, though. I went through a nasty divorce from "the 
> ex-wife
> > from Hell" and somehow quit playing in the process. I just sold my Alembic
> > Spoiler bass on ebay a few months ago because I hadn't played it once in 15
> > or so years. Decided it was finally time to let go - besides, I needed 
> a ham
> > radio for the big boat. Guess it's all about priorities....
> >
> > I did just get a new mandolin, though - thought that might fit better,
> > anyway - and it doesn't draw as much power as a bass rig <g>.
> >
> > Mark
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> > [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
> > Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 6:29 PM
> > To: Rhodes
> > Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
> >
> > Mark,
> >
> > Are you sure that was in Roanoke?  It sounds just like a bar on the Ft.
> > Totten Indian Reservation in South Dakota.  8-) Good story.  Do you still
> > play?
> > Slim
> >
> > On 2/9/05 4:52 PM, "Mark Kaynor" <mark at kaynor.org> wrote:
> >
> >> Steve,
> >>
> >> While I'm traveling down memory lane, your post reminded me of when I
> >> used to play in a local blues band. One Wednesday night we were
> >> playing for the gate at this dive in Roanoke. We had a friend watching
> >> the door for us when this big guy named "Heavy" came up to him and
> >> said "I'd better check this with you or I might get into trouble" and
> >> handed him a 45 automatic. This place was amazing. At one point the
> > bartender lit up a joint behind the bar.
> >> There was this one guy there who kept yelling "Black Flag! Black
> >> Flag!". Our rhythm guitarist finally got him to shut up by betting him
> >> he could stand on his head and drink a beer - which he did. The guy
> >> started yelling again after and Heavy and some of his friends showed
> >> him the door, none too gently. We found out later that the there was a
> >> shootout in the parking lot the Friday after we played - I don't know if
> > Heavy was involved or not.
> >> Years later I was talking to one of my neighbors who was in
> >> corrections and he told me this place had a reputation among law
> >> enforcement as a good place to check for escapees from the city jail.
> >>
> >> Mark Kaynor
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> >> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Steve Alm
> >> Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 5:26 PM
> >> To: Rhodes
> >> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Music Humor - I think
> >>
> >> Rummy, you're welcome.  See ya there.
> >> Brad, you'd fit right in too.
> >> Ed,  no, that's not a bad night.  It's EVERY night!   8-)
> >> Slim
> >>
> >> On 2/9/05 5:39 AM, "brad haslett" <flybrad at yahoo.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Well Slim, I have just one thing to say about that.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> FREEBIRD!
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> (come on man, I'm holding my lighter up in a hotel
> >>> room)
> >>>
> >>> Brad
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> --- Steve Alm <salm at mn.rr.com> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> This would be funny if it weren't so damn true:
> >>>>
> >>>> MUSICIANS ARE EXPERT MIND READERS
> >>>>
> >>>> When requesting a song from the band, just say "play my song!"  We
> >>>> have a chip implanted in our heads with an unlimited database with
> >>>> the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar & all
> >>>> songs ever recorded, so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge.
> >>>>
> >>>> If we do not remember exactly what tune you want, we're only kidding.
> >>>> Bands know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if
> >>>> need be ... it helps jog the memory.
> >>>>
> >>>> If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they
> >>>> either forgot that they know the tune or they are just putting you
> >>>> on.  Try singing a few words for the band. Any words will do.
> >>>>
> >>>> It also helps to scream your request from across the room several
> >>>> times per set followed by the phrases, "AW COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!"
> >>>> Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance
> >>>> floor are a big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your middle
> >>>> finger.
> >>>> Put-downs are the best
> >>>> way to jog a band's memory.  This instantly promotes you to the
> >>>> status of "Personal Friend Of The Band."
> >>>>
> >>>> Entertainers are notorious fakers & jokesters and never really
> >>>> prepare for their shows.  They simply walk on stage with no prior
> >>>> thought to what they will do once they arrive.  An entertainer's job
> >>>> is so easy, even  a monkey could do it, so don't let them off the
> >>>> hook easily.
> >>>> Your request is all
> >>>> that matters.
> >>>>
> >>>> If a metal band had played at the club a few weeks ago, the next
> >>>> band that follows will automatically know every metal tune the
> >>>> previous band ever played, even if the current band  is a blues or
> >>>> country band. It's the law.
> >>>> Feel free to yell AC DC or SLAYER!! to a band that plays strictly
> >>>> originals or jazz for example. Conversely, Deadheads may yell for
> >>>> Grateful Dead tunes at a dance or metal band.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> IMPORTANT
> >>>>
> >>>> When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her
> >>>> head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding
> >>>> their head securely so they cannot pull away.
> >>>> This will be taken as an invitation to a friendly & playful game of
> >>>> tug of war between their head and your hands.
> >>>>
> >>>> Don't give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits.
> >>>> Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit in
> >>>> the back, protected by the guitar players.
> >>>> Keyboard players are protected by their instrument, & only play the
> >>>> game when tricked into coming out from behind their keyboards.
> >>>> Though difficult to get them play, it's not impossible, so keep trying.
> >>>> They're especially vulnerable during the break between songs.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> TALKING WITH THE BAND
> >>>>
> >>>> The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful
> >>>> way is at the middle of a song when all band members are singing at
> >>>> the same time.
> >>>> Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from
> >>>> the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us.
> >>>> Musicians are expert lip
> >>>> readers too.  If a musician does not reply to your question or
> >>>> comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at
> >>>> your mouth in order to read your lips.
> >>>>
> >>>> Simply continue to scream your request & be sure to over emphasize
> >>>> the words with your lips. This helps immensely.
> >>>> Don't be fooled.
> >>>>
> >>>> Singers have the innate ability to answer questions & sing at the
> >>>> same time.
> >>>> If the singer doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless
> >>>> of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely
> >>>> ignoring you.
> >>>> If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> HELPING THE BAND
> >>>>
> >>>> If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will
> >>>> appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you
> >>>> can remain standing on stage.  Just pretend you're in a Karaoke bar.
> >>>> Simply feel free to walk up on stage & join in. By the way, the
> >>>> drunker you are, the better you sound, & the louder you should sing.
> >>>>
> >>>> If by chance you fall off the  stage, be sure to crawl back up &
> >>>> attempt to sing harmony.  Keep in mind that nothing assists the band
> >>>> more than outrageous dancing, third & fourth part harmonies, or a
> >>>> tambourine played out of tempo.
> >>>> Try the cow bell, they love the challenge. The band always needs the
> >>>> help & will take this as a compliment.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> VERY IMPORTANT
> >>>>
> >>>> Remember to allow enough time to make it from the stage to the
> >>>> bathroom in case of an emergency.  On stage accidents are bad form.
> >>>> The band will carry on.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> BONUS TIP
> >>>>
> >>>> As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on
> >>>> stage and start playing their instruments.  They love this. Even if
> >>>> you are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact that
> >>>> you have successfully completed your audition.  The band will call
> >>>> you immediately the following day to offer you a position.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> See you at the next gig ...
> >>>> The Band
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> __________________________________________________
> >>>> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help?
> >>>> www.rhodes22.org/list
> >>>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
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> >>
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> >>
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