[Rhodes22-list] Humor - Overheard in Court

brad haslett flybrad at yahoo.com
Sun Feb 20 13:37:25 EST 2005


For any of you who have spent time in court, you'll
relate to these.  You really do hear some stupid
stuff, sometimes its about you!  Brad

____________________________________________________

These are from a book called Disorder in the American
Courts, and are things people actually said in court,
word for word, taken down and now published by court
reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.***

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_________________________________*

**Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
impact?**

**A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.***
**__________________________________***

**Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?***
**A: Yes.**
**Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?**
**A: I forget.**
**Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something that you've
forgotten?**
**_____________________________________***

**Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you
when he woke up that morning?***
**A: He said, "Where am I. Doris?"**
**Q: And why did that upset you?**
**A: My name is Susan.**
**______________________________________***

**Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?***
**A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?**
**___________________________________***

**Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?***
**A: Yes.**
**Q: And what were you doing at that time?**
**______________________________________***

**Q: How was your first marriage terminated?***
**A: By death.**
**Q: And by whose death was it terminated?**
**______________________________________***


**Q: Can you describe the individual?***
**A: He was about medium height and had a beard.**
**Q: Was this a male or a female?**
**______________________________________***

**Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?***
**A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.**
**Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?**
**A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy.**
**______________________________________***

**AND TO SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST!!!!!!**

**Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?***
** A: No.**
**Q: Did you check for blood pressure?**
**A: No.**
**Q: Did you check for breathing?**
**A: No.**
**Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the autopsy?**
**A: No.**
**Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?**
**A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
jar.**
**Q: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?**
**A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law somewhere***



		
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