[Rhodes22-list] Rummy's question

[Bob Weber]

Rummy, I have had like results.  Heavy weather sailing and heavy drinking 
can be dangerous.  To help you with your drinking issues I have put together 
a trouble shooting guide.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.


It would make a great blog if someone wants to jump in with personal 
experiences.

Bob Weber


>From: "ed kroposki" <ekroposki at charter.net>
>Reply-To: The Rhodes 22 mail list <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
>To: "'The Rhodes 22 mail list'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
>Subject: RE: [Rhodes22-list] Rummy's question, Roger's Articles
>Date: Thu, 6 Jan 2005 20:42:12 -0500
>
>"There are a lot of other equally thorny technical, safety, logistical,
>storage, and political issues associated with the hydrogen economy that 
>some
>of the literature articles discuss.  I recommend you read some of those
>articles."
>
>
>
>Roger,
>
>      Now you are getting like Bill.  Where are the citations of the
>articles?  How can Lou look up your references?
>
>
>
>Rummy,
>
>      What is the source of your information about California hydrogen
>stations?  It is nice to argue with Roger, but citations please so we know
>where your stuff comes from.
>
>
>
>Rummy,
>
>      Looks like you dropped strawberry jelly on your leg.  Maybe after a
>couple of rum and cokes?
>
>
>
>Ed K
>
>Greenville, SC, USA
>
>Addendum: "Port is a four letter word - and so is left. Port wine is red 
>and
>so is the navigation light shown on the port beam of a vessel under way at
>night."
>
>__________________________________________________
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