[Rhodes22-list] jokes(otherwiae know as something to piss everyone off :-)

[michael meltzer]

Doctors:

(A) The number of doctors in the U.S. is 700,000
(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year
are 120,000
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%

	Statistics courtesy of the U.S. Dept. of Health &
Human Services

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000
(yes that's 80
million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all
age groups, is 
1,500
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is
0.001875%

	Statistics courtesy of the FBI

So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000
times more dangerous 
than
gun owners. Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors
do.

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS
AT LEAST ONE 
DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We
must ban doctors
before this gets completely out of hand!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have
withheld statistics on
lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic
and seek medical
attention

 

--
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She lowered her 
altitude
and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,
"Excuse me, can 
you
help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour
ago, but I don't 
know
where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied,
"You're in a hot air 
balloon
approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346
feet above sea 
level.
You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude
and 100 degrees, 
49.09
minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a
Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told
me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to do with your
information, and I'm 
still
lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a
Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or
where you're 
going.
You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity
of hot air. You 
made
a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you
expect me to solve 
your
problem. You're in exactly the same position you were
in before we met 
but,
somehow, now it's my fault."

 
--
We did not inherit this earth from our ancestors, we
borrow it from our
children.
~Native American Proverb

"Still, if you will not fight for the right when you
can easily win 
without
bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory
will be sure and not 
too
costly, you may come to the moment when you will have
to fight with all 
the
odds against you and only a precarious chance of
survival. There may 
even be
a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no
hope of victory,
because it is better to perish than live as slaves."
~Winston Churchill

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing
because he could 
only
do a little."
~Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

 


		
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