[Rhodes22-list] Re: the official Annapolis Rhodes 22 Show Report

[Bob Keller]

Priceless!!

Bob K


>From: "stan" <stan at rhodes22.com>
>Reply-To: The Rhodes 22 mail list <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
>To: "The Rhodes 22 mail list" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
>CC: stan <stan at rhodes22.com>
>Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Re: the official Annapolis Rhodes 22 Show Report
>Date: Sat, 14 Oct 2006 12:40:00 -0400
>
>
>           The Show started on a balmy note as Art and I motored into our 
>rented slip and raised the mast just outside the show entrance in time to 
>beat a radical weather change.  Five days later we are happy to report a 
>successful show, a wiser and older crew and a safe at home call - after a 
>series of offensive and defensive errors.
>
>           As the only surviving charter exhibitor still showing a 22 foot 
>sailboat at the greatest sailboat show on earth, we had been given a gold 
>badge on the show's 25th anniversary (some many years ago) and invited to 
>an exclusive party where we were allowed to tell our story:
>
>           For years we had been taking the same space and show biz was 
>good.   One year we came and could not fit into our sacred territory.  I 
>called Carol, the show manager, and explained the problem.  She explained 
>that we had fit this space for all these years so we must be cheating and 
>showing a bigger boat this year.  We explained that we had managed all 
>these years by projecting into the exhibitor's space in front of us and 
>allowing them to project into our space and that this year she had put a 
>tented exhibitor in our projected area and so this year we could not fit.   
>She explained that the show was sold out and that we would have to cut 3 
>feet off the boat and call it the Rhodes 19.   I explained that there 
>already was a Rhodes 19 and that, in fact, another exhibitor was showing it 
>at this very same show and therefore the public would be confused - but not 
>to worry, I would go into  my creative mode and scan the show for a way 
>out.   She gave me one hour to come up with an ingenious idea and get the 
>boat out of the aisle which, she explained, the fire department considered 
>a fire lane, or go buy a chain saw.  I looked up and in 2 seconds saw the 
>solution.
>   w
>           "Carol" I said, "take that row of toilet booths and put them in 
>our space and move us into the toilet exhibit".
>
>           "Brilliant" she said, "Maybe you should be managing the show", 
>and in two seconds a fork lift was lifting the first of the green toilet 
>booths high into the air, when I noticed the door of the booth starting to 
>open.   Immediately I wanted to shout a warning; what came out was, "Watch 
>that first step".   Other exhibitors were envious when they saw the crowds 
>at our exhibit during the show, not realizing the public was lining up to 
>use the Rhodes head.
>
>           But now Carol, the show owners and all our old friends from the 
>original show team have passed on and new management, seeing us as the tiny 
>nothing company we are and nullifying longevity values, put us at the end 
>of the line, squeeze us in between Catalina and Hunter and take away our 
>free in-the-water demo space. But not to cry for good old GB - we manage a 
>slip just outside the show for our demo boat sailing while loyal Rhodies 
>like Art, Jay, Ed and others are showing up in our doting years to give us 
>a Tom Sawyer like hand.
>
>           This year it was Art helping the demo boat launching at the 
>Thruxton Park ramp.  And when we parked the emptied, unsecured trailer 
>there, I explained I simply remove the 2 extension tongue pins so any 
>trailer thief would soon find he was pulling a ten foot length of clanking 
>metal tubing down the street while the falling-behind-trailer was causing a 
>massive car pile up behind him that would undoubtedly result in his being 
>called by the court as a witness.
>
>           When we were finally set up to slay the giants, the weather 
>suddenly turned on us.  It rained, the winds howled and the temperature 
>convinced us the wizard had moved us to Minnesota.  Nevertheless Art gave 
>demonstrations - unfortunately, to prospects who already owned Rhodes 22s.  
>  Jay and Art did sell some boats.  Unfortunately, they were not Rhodes.  
>(I think Art sold one Catalina and Jay two Hunters.)
>
>           During the show I noticed that Art was explaining the Rhodes 
>swing keel to prospects.  Now I know for a fact that the Rhodes does not 
>have a swing keel since every few years I read the promotional material we 
>hand out at the show. But Art is a smart guy and has not one but two 
>"Rhodes" with swing keels so they have to be counterfeits.  Or, I must have 
>been remiss in explaining to owners the difference between the Rhodes 
>combination keel/centerboards and swing keels.   So let me state right 
>here, if you have a Rhodes with a swing keel, you do not have a Rhodes, no 
>matter what the year.
>
>           The last day of the show the weather changed again.  The sun 
>came out and the temperature rose and the wind died, completely.   This 
>gave us the excuse to pull out of the war zone before the 5 o'clock 
>massacre when all sailboats must evaporate to allow the circling motor 
>boats into their spaces for the US Motor Boat Show.   (You have to see this 
>amazing annual ritual at least once in your lifetime.)   With Art an 
>Annapolis graduate, I gave him the job of navigating the boat back to the 
>ramp while I drove the car there to position the trailer for the retrieval.
>
>           Another instruction booklet failure:   My van has this great 
>feature of a second hitch, this one on the front bumper so I have this 
>great view of my retrievals.  I could see Art raising the centerboard in 
>preparation to motoring onto the submerged trailer, now attached to the 
>front of my car.  So let me state right here:  With a real Rhodes and a 
>real Rhodes trailer, you lower the center board before sailing, motoring or 
>pulling the boat onto its trailer, not raise it.
>
>           Remember the trick of pulling the extension tongue pins to foil 
>a trailer crook?.  Well, I found the enemy - and he was me.  As I backed up 
>the ramp to pull the rig out of the water, the boat and trailer stayed put 
>and the 10 foot extension bar came out of the water just as easy as can be. 
>   I sat there and watched the entire foiled heist.  My first fear was 
>that, now detached from the van, the boat and trailer would roll down the 
>ramp.  And, while the boat floats, trailers generally do not.  And once off 
>the end of the ramp our only Thruxton Park trailer would join the 
>Chesapeake ship grave yard.  And, sure enough, the rig started to move down 
>the ramp!   Then, a miracle, the law of gravity was repealed, long enough 
>for Art to jump in the water, Gucci shoes and all and hang on for dear 
>life; a miracle to give me pause to raise my faith one notch, from atheist 
>to Brad's category.  I quickly recovered from that lapse and jumped out of 
>the van and cleverly disconnected the trailer winch strap from the boat and 
>attached it to the car and started to winch the boat back up the ramp - and 
>got punished for jumping faith by the fabric strap parting in the water and 
>a drowning Art again having to hold on for dear life.
>
>           Art then got the brilliant idea that the trailer would be a lot 
>lighter if we floated the boat back off it.   So we tied a line to the car 
>and backed the rig deeper into the water and relieved the trailer of the 
>boat load.   With some miner engineering feats and submerged jacks, we got 
>the run-a-way tongue back into the trailer sockets and eventually got the 
>boat out of the water.  Besides shoes, I think the only casualties were 
>some landside watchers deciding that buying a sailboat was not for them.
>
>           It is all relative.  Up to now things were going relatively 
>smoothly.   Outside a-by-now dark Washington DC, just before the new 
>Potomac River bridge where the shoulders disappear, on highly utilized, 
>high speed I-95, the trailer bounced off the hitch ball.   Someone had 
>forgotten to tighten the coupler's locking knob.   You do not want to hear 
>the rest of this story but when it was all cleared up and I asked the 
>Maryland Highway crew chief what I owed for the wonderful service, the 
>graceful response was, "Nothing.  Just get out of my state".
>
>           Virginia State Route 460, for the first time in my experience, 
>suddenly ended with a barricade.  If I had known then it was merely because 
>of flooding, having a boat, I would have gone for it instead of taking the 
>hour and a half detour.   Actually I would have enjoyed seeing the 
>new-to-me rural countryside detour - if it were not so dark and I wasn't 
>driving in my sleep.
>
>           As I learned to chant as a kid growing up in Brooklyn and 
>rooting for the those bums, the Brooklyn Dodgers, "Wait til next Year".   I 
>think I got it down pat now.
>
>           To Art, Jay, Mary Lou, Michael, the Greens and all the other 
>Rhodies who showed up at the show to lie about the boat to all those 
>prospects who braved the elements, many thanks.
>
>   stan
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