[Rhodes22-list] Humor, political, Canadian style

[Tootle]

Big Al, you may delete this post immediately as it has nothing to do with
sailing. 

We have not heard from Stan lately, maybe he is among this group?

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>From the Manitoba Herald 
  
  The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration. 
  The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning
citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree With
Bill O'Reilly. 
   Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at
night.    "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red
Greenfield, Whose acreage borders North Dakota.    "The producer was cold,
exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some
free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.  Didn't even get
a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" 
 In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t
give milk."
    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them
across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. 
  "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario
border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking
Water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." 
    When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have
been Circulating about the Bush administration establishing reeducation
camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
NASCAR Races.
     In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus
trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen
young Vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities
began Stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on
Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.   
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, We
get suspicious about their age," an official said.
    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon Movies.     "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian
economy just can’t support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many
art-history majors does one country need?"

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