[Rhodes22-list] Humor, political, Canadian style

[petelargo]

Pretty funny. It's even funnier pretending that we are the ones living in a
free country with actual civil rights.  

WARNING: Due to presidential executive orders and signing statements, and
provisions passed by the previous Republican-controlled Congress, the
National Security Agency may have read this posting, as well as and any
other private correspondence of mine, and may listen to my private phone
conversations without warrant, warning, or notice, and certainly without
probable cause. They may also arrest me without telling me of any charges
against me, even transport me outside the United States, and hold me
secretly and indefinitely in an undisclosed location without notifying my
wife or relatives, and deny me access to an attorney. They may take my
property under the executive order of July 17, 2007, never to be returned.
They may torture me without fear of penalty or repercussions to them for
their actions. They may do all these things to me, or to you, with little or
no judicial or legislative oversight. This danger became ever more apparent,
and ominous, on Sept. 19, 2007, when the U.S. Senate failed to reinstate
habeas corpus as an inalienable right of American citizens. I/We have no
recourse nor protection save to call for the impeachment of the current
president and vice-president, and voting to remove all rubber-stamp
Republicans and neocons from office, as well as other elected officials
acting only in their own interests instead of those of the People and the
Constitution, be they occupying local, state, or national positions of
authority. 



Tootle wrote:
> 
> Big Al, you may delete this post immediately as it has nothing to do with
> sailing. 
> 
> We have not heard from Stan lately, maybe he is among this group?
> 
> __________________________________________________________________________
> From the Manitoba Herald 
>   
>   The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
> has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to
> stop the illegal immigration. 
>   The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among
> left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and
> agree With Bill O'Reilly. 
>    Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
> sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing
> their fields at night.    "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and
> there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer
> Red Greenfield, Whose acreage borders North Dakota.    "The producer was
> cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some
> free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.  Didn't even
> get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" 
>  In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
> fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that
> blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The
> liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they
> wouldn’t give milk."
>     Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
> near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them
> across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. 
>   "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
> Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
> drinking Water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." 
>     When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
> wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have
> been Circulating about the Bush administration establishing reeducation
> camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
> NASCAR Races.
>      In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
> crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus
> trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
> half-dozen young Vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
> authorities began Stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen
> passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were
> alive in the '50s.    "If they can't identify the accordion player on The
> Lawrence Welk Show, We get suspicious about their age," an official said.
>     Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
> creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
> Sarandon Movies.     "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian
> economy just can’t support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many
> art-history majors does one country need?"
> 
> 

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