[Rhodes22-list] George Carlin's Views on Aging (Joke, Humor)

elle watermusic38 at yahoo.com
Mon Jan 8 10:48:36 EST 2007


Mike,

Thank you! Sometimes we need reminders as to what's
important..

elle

--- "Michael D. Weisner" <mweisner at ebsmed.com> wrote:

> George Carlin's Views on Aging
> 
> Do you realize that the only time in our lives when
> we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're
> less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
> aging that you think in fractions. 
> 
> "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're
> never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half,
> going on five! That's the key
> 
> You get into your teens, now they can't hold you
> back. You jump to the next  number, or even a few
> ahead. 
> 
> "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be
> 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the
> greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even
> the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21.
> YESSSS!!! 
> 
> But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there?
> Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to
> throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a
> sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
> 
> You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
> Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.
> Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are
> gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't
> think you would!
> 
> So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and
> MAKE it to 60.
> 
> You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After
> that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! 
> 
> You get into your 80s and every day is a complete
> cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH
> bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you
> start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
> 
> Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over
> 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a
> half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a
> half!!
> 
> HOW TO STAY YOUNG
> 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes
> age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about
> them. That is why you pay "them." 
> 
> 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you
> down.
> 
> 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer,
> crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain be
> idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And
> the devil's name is Alzheimer's. 
> 
> 4. Enjoy the simple things.
> 
> 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp
> for breath.
> 
> 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
> The only person, who is with us our entire life, is
> ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 
> 
> 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether
> it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants,
> hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
> 
> 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it.
> If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what
> you can improve, get help. 
> 
> 9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall,
> even to the next county; to a foreign country but
> NOT to where the guilt is.
> 
> 10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at
> every opportunity. 
> AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
> Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
> take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
> 
> And if you don't send this to at least 8 people -
> who cares? But do share this with someone. We all
> need to live life to its fullest each day!!
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> 


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