[Rhodes22-list] Political humor. Happy fourth everyone.

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Cheney Declares Himself National Monument
Latest Attempt to Dodge Subpoena

In a bold new strategy to avoid a  congressional subpoena, Vice President 
Dick Cheney today declared himself a  national monument. 

Mr. Cheney took the unorthodox step only after  failing in his attempt to 
invoke a little-known legal principle called the  separation of Cheney and state. 

Aides to Mr. Cheney confirmed that being  a national monument gives the vice 
president not only immunity from subpoenas,  but also a draft deferment in 
perpetuity. 

President George W. Bush  presided over a solemn White House ceremony this 
morning in which a plaque  documenting Mr. Cheney’s status as a national 
monument was affixed to the vice  president’s midsection. 

Joining the ranks of the Washington Monument and  the Lincoln Memorial, Mr. 
Cheney is believed to be the only landmark in the  nation’s capital not made at 
least partially out of marble. 

But even as  his attempt to evade a subpoena appeared to have succeeded, the 
vice president’s  new status as a national monument created unexpected 
problems, as Independence  Day tourists lined up around the block to get a glimpse of 
Washington’s latest  historic attraction. 

Perhaps in an effort to control the crowds, Mr.  Cheney announced today that 
the admission price for seeing him would be set at  $75,000. 

White House spokesman Tony Snow defended the $75,000 price tag,  saying that 
it was an appropriate price to see a national monument of Dick  Cheney’s 
stature. 

“Seventy-five thousand dollars is what it costs to see  Dick Cheney,” Mr. 
Snow said. “Just ask any lobbyist.” 

Elsewhere,  Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that everyone 
in the U.S.  should go about their normal activities, “except you  terrorists.”



 
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