[Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

[Lowe, Rob]

Ben,
So what would you tell them now? - rob

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of ben
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 12:57 PM
To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

That reminds me of a story.  It's been a while, so I might have told
this on
the list already.  Apologies if so.

I was walking the dog between 9 and 10 one night.  We were in a nice
neighborhood over near LSU.  We're walking on the sidewalk along a main
boulevard when an SUV across the lane, across the median, and in the far
lane stopped.  The window came down, and a young dude shouted across to
me.

"HEY!  WHERE CAN WE FIND SOME PROSTITUES AROUND HERE!"

I was struck dumb for a few seconds, both because of the surprise of the
situation, and because I honestly couldn't think of where one might go
in
Baton Rouge to find a prostitute.  I finally managed to spit out a weak,
"ummm, I don't know."

"COME ON!  THERE'S GOT TO BE PROSTITUES AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE."

"Well.  I'm sure there are.  I just don't know where to find them."

"SHOULD WE TURN OR GO STRAIGHT?"

"Keep going straight."

Off they drove.

It bothered me that I couldn't be more helpful to obvious visitors to my
community, and as I walked back to the house, I started to think of lots
of
places they might have gone:  strip clubs, Plank Road, Escorts in the
Yellow
Pages.  So next time I get that question, I'll be much more prepared.


Ben S.


-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Ronald Lipton
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 11:34
To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

We lived in Pittsburgh for 9 years.  It's good to see that it hasn't
changed.  You should
add
"If someone has stopped his/her car in the middle of a busy street
having an
extended
conversation with a pedestrian waking on the other side of the street"
you live in Pittsburgh

Ron

On Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 10:21 AM, John Shulick <jsbudda at verizon.net>
wrote:

>
> Here's a few
>
>  If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
>  you live in Pittsburgh.
>
>  If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
work
> there,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
>  who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street
looks to
> you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in
> Pittsburgh
>
>  If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of
> luncheon meat,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn',
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'ver-sales', you live
in
> Pittsburgh
>
> If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon Line for
the
> weekend,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
again
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
>  during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
> them,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
> everybody is passing you,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with
> snow,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road
> construction,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh
>
> --
> View this message in context:
>
http://www.nabble.com/bad-jokes%28i-am-in-a-bad-mood%29-tp21091978p21094
074.
html
> Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
>
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