[Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

Fri Dec 19 15:47:30 EST 2008

Yeah, my admiral knows that I'm all noise and no action.  I remember going
out with the boys early in our marriage, having a couple too many, and
throwing most of my clothes out of the car as we were driving home.  The
mrs. just shook her head and had them throw me into bed.  The only grief I
caught was over the $80 bar tab, as we were pretty poor at the time.

Good days.

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of michael meltzer
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 14:25
To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

So how long do you plain to be married, or have you reached the age where
you are "considered harmless" :-)

Ducking and running from this one :-)

-mjm

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of ben
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 3:06 PM
To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

I carry a pre-printed map to the prostitution hot-spots in my wallet.  :-)

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Lowe, Rob
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 12:45
To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

Ben,
So what would you tell them now? - rob

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of ben
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 12:57 PM
To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

That reminds me of a story.  It's been a while, so I might have told
this on
the list already.  Apologies if so.

I was walking the dog between 9 and 10 one night.  We were in a nice
neighborhood over near LSU.  We're walking on the sidewalk along a main
boulevard when an SUV across the lane, across the median, and in the far
lane stopped.  The window came down, and a young dude shouted across to
me.

"HEY!  WHERE CAN WE FIND SOME PROSTITUES AROUND HERE!"

I was struck dumb for a few seconds, both because of the surprise of the
situation, and because I honestly couldn't think of where one might go
in
Baton Rouge to find a prostitute.  I finally managed to spit out a weak,
"ummm, I don't know."

"COME ON!  THERE'S GOT TO BE PROSTITUES AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE."

"Well.  I'm sure there are.  I just don't know where to find them."

"SHOULD WE TURN OR GO STRAIGHT?"

"Keep going straight."

Off they drove.

It bothered me that I couldn't be more helpful to obvious visitors to my
community, and as I walked back to the house, I started to think of lots
of
places they might have gone:  strip clubs, Plank Road, Escorts in the
Yellow
Pages.  So next time I get that question, I'll be much more prepared.

Ben S.

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Ronald Lipton
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 11:34
To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

We lived in Pittsburgh for 9 years.  It's good to see that it hasn't
changed.  You should
add
"If someone has stopped his/her car in the middle of a busy street
having an
extended
conversation with a pedestrian waking on the other side of the street"
you live in Pittsburgh

Ron

On Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 10:21 AM, John Shulick <jsbudda at verizon.net>
wrote:

>
> Here's a few
>
>  If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
>  you live in Pittsburgh.
>
>  If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
work
> there,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
>  who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street
looks to
> you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in
> Pittsburgh
>
>  If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of
> luncheon meat,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn',
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'ver-sales', you live
in
> Pittsburgh
>
> If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon Line for
the
> weekend,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
again
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
>  during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
> them,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
> everybody is passing you,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with
> snow,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road
> construction,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
>  you live in Pittsburgh
>
>  If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh
>
> --
> View this message in context:
>
http://www.nabble.com/bad-jokes%28i-am-in-a-bad-mood%29-tp21091978p21094
074.
html
> Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
>
> __________________________________________________
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