[Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

[Michael D. Weisner]

I'm all confused.  I thought that NY drivers "jump the light."  In NY it is 
known as "turn on red" and it doesn't matter whether it is a left or a 
right.

BTW, what's a Jello cop?  I know what a Jell-O shot is and I think several 
of us need one about now.

Happy New Year to all ...

Mike
s/v Shanghai'd Summer ('81)
Nissequogue River, NY


From: "Blue Heron" <sloopblueheron at gmail.com> Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 
2008 11:36 AM
> If you don't know how to spell Pittsburgh, you live in Pgh.
>
> If you're the first car at the light waiting to turn left, and you make 
> your
> turn as soon as the light turns green, you live in Pgh.
>
> If you're the first car at the light and an on-coming car has his left
> blinker on, and you let him and probably the guy behind him turn left 
> before
> you enter the intersection, you live in Pgh.
>
> That's known as the "Pgh left turn", something our list PITAs should 
> learn.
> Or maybe MJM and John, our new Jello cops, should just take the list PITAs
> to Pgh and lean 'em to drive.
>
> Rick
>
> On Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 1:24 AM, Steven Alm <stevenalm at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> "If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
>> them, you live in Pittsburgh"
>>
>> I was walking the dog when I came upon four women trying to jump start a
>> car.  They had the owner's manual out and were reading it aloud as I came
>> by.  One of them spotted me and shouted, "A MAN!  IT'S A MAN!  HEY, COME
>> OVER HERE!"
>>
>> I looked at how they connected the cables and everything was right.  They
>> had neglected to do only one little thing--wiggle the clamps so they bit 
>> in
>> and made a good connection.  I just touched the cables and their car
>> started.  They all marvelled at the "golden touch of a man" and begged me
>> to
>> tell them my secret.  I refused to tell them saying that if women knew 
>> how
>> to jump start cars, they would have no further need for us at all.
>>
>> They agreed.
>>
>> Slim
>>
>> On Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 10:21 AM, John Shulick <jsbudda at verizon.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >
>> > Here's a few
>> >
>> >  If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh.
>> >
>> >  If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
>> work
>> > there,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
>> >  who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street looks
>> to
>> > you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in
>> > Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of
>> > luncheon meat,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn',
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'ver-sales', you live 
>> > in
>> > Pittsburgh
>> >
>> > If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon Line for 
>> > the
>> > weekend,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back 
>> > again
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
>> >  during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
>> > them,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
>> > everybody is passing you,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled 
>> > with
>> > snow,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and 
>> > road
>> > construction,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
>> >  you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> >  If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh
>> >
>> > --
>> > View this message in context:
>> >
>> http://www.nabble.com/bad-jokes%28i-am-in-a-bad-mood%29-tp21091978p21094074.html
>> > Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
>> >
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