[Rhodes22-list] jokes

Caesar Paul caesarpaul01 at yahoo.com
Thu Jan 29 13:31:21 EST 2009


Pretty witty of you Jb.  Your response cracked me up.  If you are serious, I still see humor in it.
 
Caesar 

--- On Thu, 1/29/09, JbTek <j.bulfer at jbtek.com> wrote:

From: JbTek <j.bulfer at jbtek.com>
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] jokes
To: "The Rhodes 22 Email List" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Date: Thursday, January 29, 2009, 10:10 AM

mjm
you know what....I'm blonde, my wifes blonde & my kids are blond.
I find that joke very offensive.
Jb

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "michael meltzer" <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com>
To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'"
<rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 4:02 PM
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] jokes


> Degrees of Blonde
>
>
>
> FIRST DEGREE
>
> A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The
> very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How
should
> I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
>
>
>
> The husband said, 'Who was that?'
>
>
>
> The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if
the coast
is
> clear.'
>
>
>
> SECOND DEGREE
>
> Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
> sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and
> says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
>
>
>
> The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
>
>
>
> So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
>
>
>
> The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's
me!'
>
>
>
> THIRD DEGREE
>
> A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys
> a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door
> she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
>
>
>
> Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun,
> and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts
> it to her head.
>
>
>
> The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
>
>
>
> The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
>
>
>
> FOURTH DEGREE
>
> A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
> says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'
>
>
>
> A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
>
>
>
> The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy . it's W.'
>
>
>
> FIFTH DEGREE
>
> Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
>
> A: 'Is it mine?'
>
>
>
> SIXTH DEGREE
>
> Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
> Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
> was about.
>
>
>
> Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the
decision
> George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware '
>
>
>
> SEVENTH DEGREE
>
> Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked
> and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
>
>
>
> The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
> patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
>
>
>
> As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde
> ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
> sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I
come
> home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and
what
> do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
> One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in
his
> salary!
>
>
>
> Dear Bo$$
>
>
>
> In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould
be
> under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport
> including $weat and $ervice to your company.
>
> I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
>
>
>
> Your$ $incerely,
>
>
>
> Norman $oh
>
>
>
> The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
>
>
>
> Dear NOrman,
>
>
>
> I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has
changed.
> You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as
yet.
>
>
>
> NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure
if
> the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember
> presidential elections things may turn bad.
>
>
>
> I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
>
>
>
> Yours truly,
>
>
>
> Ting
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
> Grandpa is grocery shopping with his toddler grandson, who sits in the
cart
> and cries hysterically.
>
>
>
> As the elderly man pushes the cart through the aisles, selecting his
items,
> shoppers hear him speaking in a soft voice: 'We are almost done,
Albert;
try
> not to cry, Albert. Life will get better Albert, I promise you.'
>
>
>
> The child screams louder, feet kicking, arms flailing.
>
>
>
> They reach the checkout counter. 'Try not to be upset, Albert,'
says the
old
> man. 'We will be home soon, Albert. All will be well.'
>
>
>
> He pays the cashier, while the toddler thrashes and screams.
>
>
>
> 'There, there, Albert,' mutters the man. 'Try to control
yourself.'
>
>
>
> The woman behind him in line feels compelled to comment. Sir, I think
it's
> wonderful how sweet and patient you're being to your little grandson
> Albert,' she says.
>
>
>
> The old gentleman replies. 'My grandson's name is John. I'm
Albert.'
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
>
>
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