[Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff

[John Shulick]

Rummy:

 Outstanding! These are just wonderful! Thank you for some humor during the
winter months. I find deep personal meaning in #2,3,&4 having been there and
still doing that.

John S


R22RumRunner wrote:
> 
> 
> Once again, The  Washington Post has published the winning submissions to 
> its yearly  neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply 
> alternative meanings  for common words.
> 
> The winners are:
> 
> 1. Coffee (n.), the person  upon whom one coughs.
> 
> 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much  weight you have gained.
> 
> 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever  having a flat stomach.
> 
> 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation  while drunk.
> 
> 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
> 
> 6. Negligent  (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly 
> answer the door in  your nightgown.
> 
> 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
> 
> 8.  Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
> 
> 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency  vehicle that picks you up after you are run 
> over by a  steamroller.
> 
> 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding  hairline.
> 
> 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an  exam.
> 
> 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by 
> proctologists.
> 
> 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian  proctologist.
> 
> 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his  conversation with
> Yiddishisms.
> 
> 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by  popular demand): The belief that,
> when 
> you die, your soul flies up onto the  roof and gets stuck there.
> 
> 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the  front of boxer shorts worn by 
> Jewish men.
> 
> 
> 
> The Washington  Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any 
> word from the  dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
> one 
> letter, and  supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
> 
> 
> 1. Bozone  (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright 
> ideas from  penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
> sign 
> of breaking  down in the near future.
> 
> 2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose of 
> getting laid.
> 
> 3. Cashtration (n.): The  act of buying a house, which renders the subject 
> financially impotent for an  indefinite period.
> 
> 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,  very high.
> 
> 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic  wit and the 
> person who doesn't get it.
> 
> 6. Inoculatte (v): To take  coffee intravenously when you are running
> late.
> 
> 7. Hipatitis (n):  Terminal coolness.
> 
> 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This  one got extra credit.)
> 
> 9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody  is sending off all these 
> really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth  explodes and it's
> like, a 
> serious bummer.
> 
> 10. Decafalon (n.): The  grueling event of getting through the day 
> consuming only things that are  good for you.
> 
> 11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
> 
> 12.  Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when 
> they  come at you rapidly.
> 
> 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance  performed just after you've 
> accidentally walked through a spider  web.
> 
> 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets  into your 
> bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
> 
> 15.  Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the 
> fruit  you're eating.
> 
> And the pick of the literature:
> 
> 16. Ignoranus  (n): A person who's both stupid and an  asshole.
> 
> 
> 
> 
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