[Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff

Leland LKUHN at cnmc.org
Sun Jan 10 16:27:23 EST 2010


Best joke I've hear from a ten-year old girl:

If you're an American when you go into the bathroom and you're an American
when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom.

You're-a-peein.



Lady in Red wrote:
> 
>  Leave it to Oscar Levant to astutely point out: "A pun is the lowest form
> of humor- if you didn't think of it first."
> My grandfather came from eastern Europe.
> Russian?
> No, he took his time.(About.com)
> 
> elle
> Beer is good....people are crazy
> 
> 1992 Rhodes 22    Recycled '06"Watermusic"  {Lady in Red}
> 
> --- On Fri, 1/8/10, Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:
> 
> From: Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Friday, January 8, 2010, 12:08 AM
> 
> Hey Ragazza,
> Oh who said a Pun was the lowest form of humor? could explain why we enjoy
> them so much.
> Chris G
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of elle
> Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 07:08
> To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> 
> good one, Chris!!!
> Here's one I remember from my dad:
> My dad noticed that I was searching in his desk. He inquired as to what I
> needed, and I replied that I was in need of a rubber band.
> Not missing a beat, he said he had none, but there was a steel orchestra
> in
> the garage.
> He was quite a punster.
> 
> elle
> 
> Beer is good....people are crazy
> 
> 1992 Rhodes 22    Recycled '06"Watermusic"  {Lady in Red}
> 
> --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:
> 
> From: Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 11:59 PM
> 
> Ok here is one for Rummy :Rummage: the epoch in which the dominate wind
> powered aquatic life forms lived off of Mt. Gay.
> 
> Chris G
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of
> r22rumrunner at aol.com
> Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 12:37
> To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> 
> Elle,
> I don't know if I could sit down and just try to come up with some of  
> these. It would take a lot of rum to get me in the correct frame of mind.
> Then,  
> you never know what could come to my sick twisted rum soaked mind. 
>  
> Rummy
>  
>  
> In a message dated 1/5/2010 11:52:51 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
> watermusic38 at yahoo.com writes:
> 
> I used  to use these and other Style Invitational stuff (when
> appropriate!) 
> when I  taught in No Va.
> One of my former students (now a teacher in the same  system) was a Style 
> winner/runner up several years  ago....
> 
> elle
> 
> Beer is good....people are crazy
> 
> 1992 Rhodes  22    Recycled '06"Watermusic"  {Lady in Red}
> 
> --- On  Tue, 1/5/10, KUHN, LELAND <LKUHN at cnmc.org> wrote:
> 
> From: KUHN,  LELAND <LKUHN at cnmc.org>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism  contest, funny stuff
> To: "The Rhodes 22 Email List"  <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Tuesday, January 5, 2010, 9:55  AM
> 
> Thanks Mary Lou.  My favorite:
> 
> Frostitute: Nanooky of  the North (Michael Gips, Bethesda; Eric Ries,
> Bethesda; Roy Ashley,  Washington)
> 
> Lee
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From:  rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org]  On Behalf Of Mary Lou Troy
> Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 9:21 AM
> To:  The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest,  funny stuff
> 
> The Post runs or used to run these contests regularly under  the 
> heading of "Style Invitational"
> 
> Here's a link to recent  ones:
> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/24/AR200912
> 2401947.html
> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2009/12/24/ST20091224
> 02052.html?sid=ST2009122402052
> 
> and  a link to a listing of recent Style  Invitationals:
> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/03/25/LI200503
> 2501843.html
> 
> You'll  have to register if you aren't but it doesn't seem to cause  any
> harm.
> 
> They used to be in the Sunday paper (which is the only one  we go out 
> and buy) but they evidently now run on Saturdays. I didn't  realize 
> how much I missed them.
> 
> Thanks, Rummy.
> 
> Mary  Lou
> 1991 R22  Fretless
> Rock Hall, MD
> 
> 
> At 08:12 AM  1/5/2010, you wrote:
> 
>>Rummy,
>>
>>Very good!  It was  so funny that I Googled winning entries from other
>>years and it looks  like everyone is taking credit for this one single
>>"annual"  contest.  The best that I can tell it happened in 2005 and it
>>was  the Washington Post, but it was also attributed to the New York
>>Times  and many others for several years.
>>
>>Unsure about the  date?
>>
>>Datum (n.), ummmm I think it was in  2005.
>>
>>Lee
>>
>>-----Original  Message-----
>>From:  rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
>>[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org]  On Behalf Of
>>r22rumrunner at aol.com
>>Sent: Tuesday, January 05,  2010 7:47 AM
>>To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
>>Subject:  [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny  stuff
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Once  again, The  Washington Post has published the winning  submissions
>>to
>>its yearly  neologism contest, in which  readers are asked to supply
>>alternative meanings  for common  words.
>>
>>The winners are:
>>
>>1. Coffee (n.), the  person  upon whom one coughs.
>>
>>2. Flabbergasted (adj.),  appalled over how much  weight you have
> gained.
>>
>>3.  Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever  having a flat  stomach.
>>
>>4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation   while drunk.
>>
>>5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
>>
>>6.  Negligent  (adj.), describes a condition in which you  absentmindedly
>>answer the door in  your  nightgown.
>>
>>7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a  lisp.
>>
>>8.  Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored  mouthwash.
>>
>>9. Flatulence (n.) emergency  vehicle that  picks you up after you are
>>run
>>over by a   steamroller.
>>
>>10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding   hairline.
>>
>>11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an   exam.
>>
>>12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted  by
>>proctologists.
>>
>>13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian   proctologist.
>>
>>14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his   conversation with
>>Yiddishisms.
>>
>>15. Frisbeetarianism  (n.), (back by  popular demand): The belief that,
>>when
>>you  die, your soul flies up onto the  roof and gets stuck  there.
>>
>>16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the  front of  boxer shorts worn by
>>Jewish men.
>>
>>
>>
>>The  Washington  Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to  take
> any
>>
>>word from the  dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing
>>one
>>letter, and  supply a new  definition. Here are this year's winners:
>>
>>
>>1.  Bozone  (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that  stops
>>bright
>>ideas from  penetrating. The bozone layer,  unfortunately, shows little
>>sign
>>of breaking  down in the  near future.
>>
>>2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about   yourself for the purpose
>>of
>>getting laid.
>>
>>3.  Cashtration (n.): The  act of buying a house, which renders  the
>>subject
>>financially impotent for an  indefinite  period.
>>
>>4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,   very high.
>>
>>5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of  sarcastic  wit and the
>>person who doesn't get  it.
>>
>>6. Inoculatte (v): To take  coffee intravenously when  you are running
>>late.
>>
>>7. Hipatitis (n):  Terminal  coolness.
>>
>>8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.  (This  one got extra
>>credit.)
>>
>>9. Karmageddon (n):  its like, when everybody  is sending off all these
>>really bad  vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth  explodes and it's
>>like,  a
>>serious bummer.
>>
>>10. Decafalon (n.): The  grueling  event of getting through the day
>>consuming only things that are   good for you.
>>
>>11. Glibido (v): All talk and no  action.
>>
>>12.  Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid  ideas to seem smarter
>>when
>>they  come at you  rapidly.
>>
>>13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance   performed just after
>>you've
>>accidentally walked through a  spider  web.
>>
>>14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a  mosquito that gets  into
> your
>>
>>bedroom at three in the  morning and cannot be cast out.
>>
>>15.  Caterpallor (n.): The  color you turn after finding half a grub in
>>the
>>fruit   you're eating.
>>
>>And the pick of the  literature:
>>
>>16. Ignoranus  (n): A person who's both stupid  and an   asshole.
>>
>>
>>
>>
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