[Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
KUHN, LELAND
LKUHN at cnmc.org
Tue Jan 12 16:05:10 EST 2010
Kathy,
I heard it from my ten-year old neighbor and told my barber (okay, hair
stylist) who told it to her young daughter who sent it in to a kids'
magazine and they published it.
Your 26-year old would have been about their age at the time. America
and Europe have been around for awhile so that joke may be pretty old,
but it's always brand new the first time you hear it.
Lee
-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of James Barron
Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 1:22 PM
To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
I tried that one on my 26 yr old daughter and got a "duh Mom, everyone
knows that one"
Kathy
-----Original Message-----
From: Ben Schultz
Sent: Monday, January 11, 2010 10:25 AM
To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
Honest to God, I remember telling that 30 years ago, when I was a 6th
grader.
Ben S
-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Geankoplis
Sent: Sunday, January 10, 2010 21:52
To: 'The Rhodes 22 Email List'
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
OOO I'll have to use that on my 7th grade students.
Chris G
-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Leland
Sent: Sunday, January 10, 2010 13:27
To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
Best joke I've hear from a ten-year old girl:
If you're an American when you go into the bathroom and you're an
American
when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom.
You're-a-peein.
Lady in Red wrote:
>
> Leave it to Oscar Levant to astutely point out: "A pun is the lowest
form
> of humor- if you didn't think of it first."
> My grandfather came from eastern Europe.
> Russian?
> No, he took his time.(About.com)
>
> elle
> Beer is good....people are crazy
>
> 1992 Rhodes 22 Recycled '06"Watermusic" {Lady in Red}
>
> --- On Fri, 1/8/10, Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:
>
> From: Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Friday, January 8, 2010, 12:08 AM
>
> Hey Ragazza,
> Oh who said a Pun was the lowest form of humor? could explain why we
enjoy
> them so much.
> Chris G
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of elle
> Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 07:08
> To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>
> good one, Chris!!!
> Here's one I remember from my dad:
> My dad noticed that I was searching in his desk. He inquired as to
what I
> needed, and I replied that I was in need of a rubber band.
> Not missing a beat, he said he had none, but there was a steel
orchestra
> in
> the garage.
> He was quite a punster.
>
> elle
>
> Beer is good....people are crazy
>
> 1992 Rhodes 22 Recycled '06"Watermusic" {Lady in Red}
>
> --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:
>
> From: Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 11:59 PM
>
> Ok here is one for Rummy :Rummage: the epoch in which the dominate
wind
> powered aquatic life forms lived off of Mt. Gay.
>
> Chris G
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of
> r22rumrunner at aol.com
> Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 12:37
> To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>
> Elle,
> I don't know if I could sit down and just try to come up with some of
> these. It would take a lot of rum to get me in the correct frame of
mind.
> Then,
> you never know what could come to my sick twisted rum soaked mind.
>
> Rummy
>
>
> In a message dated 1/5/2010 11:52:51 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
> watermusic38 at yahoo.com writes:
>
> I used to use these and other Style Invitational stuff (when
> appropriate!)
> when I taught in No Va.
> One of my former students (now a teacher in the same system) was a
Style
> winner/runner up several years ago....
>
> elle
>
> Beer is good....people are crazy
>
> 1992 Rhodes 22 Recycled '06"Watermusic" {Lady in Red}
>
> --- On Tue, 1/5/10, KUHN, LELAND <LKUHN at cnmc.org> wrote:
>
> From: KUHN, LELAND <LKUHN at cnmc.org>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "The Rhodes 22 Email List" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Tuesday, January 5, 2010, 9:55 AM
>
> Thanks Mary Lou. My favorite:
>
> Frostitute: Nanooky of the North (Michael Gips, Bethesda; Eric Ries,
> Bethesda; Roy Ashley, Washington)
>
> Lee
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Mary Lou
Troy
> Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 9:21 AM
> To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>
> The Post runs or used to run these contests regularly under the
> heading of "Style Invitational"
>
> Here's a link to recent ones:
>
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/24/AR200912
> 2401947.html
>
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2009/12/24/ST20091224
> 02052.html?sid=ST2009122402052
>
> and a link to a listing of recent Style Invitationals:
>
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/03/25/LI200503
> 2501843.html
>
> You'll have to register if you aren't but it doesn't seem to cause
any
> harm.
>
> They used to be in the Sunday paper (which is the only one we go out
> and buy) but they evidently now run on Saturdays. I didn't realize
> how much I missed them.
>
> Thanks, Rummy.
>
> Mary Lou
> 1991 R22 Fretless
> Rock Hall, MD
>
>
> At 08:12 AM 1/5/2010, you wrote:
>
>>Rummy,
>>
>>Very good! It was so funny that I Googled winning entries from other
>>years and it looks like everyone is taking credit for this one single
>>"annual" contest. The best that I can tell it happened in 2005 and
it
>>was the Washington Post, but it was also attributed to the New York
>>Times and many others for several years.
>>
>>Unsure about the date?
>>
>>Datum (n.), ummmm I think it was in 2005.
>>
>>Lee
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
>>[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of
>>r22rumrunner at aol.com
>>Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 7:47 AM
>>To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
>>Subject: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions
>>to
>>its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
>>alternative meanings for common words.
>>
>>The winners are:
>>
>>1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
>>
>>2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
> gained.
>>
>>3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
>>
>>4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>>
>>5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
>>
>>6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly
>>answer the door in your nightgown.
>>
>>7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
>>
>>8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
>>
>>9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
>>run
>>over by a steamroller.
>>
>>10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
>>
>>11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
>>
>>12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
>>proctologists.
>>
>>13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
>>
>>14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
>>Yiddishisms.
>>
>>15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief
that,
>>when
>>you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>>
>>16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
>>Jewish men.
>>
>>
>>
>>The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take
> any
>>
>>word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing
>>one
>>letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
>>
>>
>>1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
>>bright
>>ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little
>>sign
>>of breaking down in the near future.
>>
>>2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose
>>of
>>getting laid.
>>
>>3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
>>subject
>>financially impotent for an indefinite period.
>>
>>4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>>
>>5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the
>>person who doesn't get it.
>>
>>6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
>>late.
>>
>>7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
>>
>>8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
>>credit.)
>>
>>9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all
these
>>really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
>>like, a
>>serious bummer.
>>
>>10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
>>consuming only things that are good for you.
>>
>>11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
>>
>>12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
>>when
>>they come at you rapidly.
>>
>>13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
>>you've
>>accidentally walked through a spider web.
>>
>>14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
> your
>>
>>bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>>
>>15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub
in
>>the
>>fruit you're eating.
>>
>>And the pick of the literature:
>>
>>16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>>
>>
>>
>>
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