[Rhodes22-list] This is an important message for the men

[G & D Barrera]

> > > >       It is important for men to remember that as women grow older
it
> > > > becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
> > they
> > > > did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try
not
> to
> > > > yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
> > > >
> > > >       When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it
> > > became
> > > > necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job both for extra income and
> for
> > > > health insurance benefits that we need. She was a trained lab tech
> when
> > we
> > > > met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to land a job at the
local
> > > > medical center as a phlebotomist. It was shortly after she started
> > working
> > > > at this job that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age. I
> > > usually
> > > > get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home
> from
> > > > work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says
that
> > she
> > > > has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try
not
> > to
> > > > yell at her when this happens.
> > > >
> > > >       Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is
> not
> > > as
> > > > young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when she finally
> > does
> > > > get supper on the table. She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon
> as
> > we
> > > > finished eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table
> for
> > > > several hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several
> > times
> > > > each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she
> > appreciates
> > > > this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to
> bed.
> > > >
> > > >       Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was
younger,
> > > Nancy
> > > > used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get
> tired.
> > > Now
> > > > that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly.
> Sometimes
> > > she
> > > > says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make
a
> > big
> > > > issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the next
evening
> I
> > > am
> > > > willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something
> > ironed
> > > to
> > > > wear to the Monday's lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's
> poker
> > > > club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I
> > will
> > > > tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This
gives
> > her
> > > a
> > > > little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like
> > shampooing
> > > > the dog, vacuuming, or dusting.
> > > >
> > > >       Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her
> to
> > > gut
> > > > and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to
> > complain
> > > a
> > > > little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for me to
> > > notice.
> > > > For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time
to
> > pay
> > > > the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her
complaining,
> I
> > > > continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out
> > over
> > > > two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I
> also
> > > > remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt
> her
> > > any,
> > > > if you know what I mean.
> > > >
> > > >       When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest
> > > periods
> > > > than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said she
had
> to
> > > > take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I
> overlook
> > > > comments like these because I realize it's just age talking. In
fact,
> I
> > > try
> > > > to not embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks.
I
> > tell
> > > > her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
> lemonade
> > > and
> > > > just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one
for
> > > > herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the
> > hammock
> > > > so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
> > > >
> > > >       I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming
> from.
> > I
> > > > know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on
a
> > > daily
> > > > basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much
consideration
> > is
> > > > easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible.
> No
> > > one
> > > > knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get
> > older
> > > > do. My purpose in writing this is simply to suggest that you make
the
> > > > effort. I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing
> > > > consideration I have attained is out of reach for the average man.
> > However
> > > > guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because
> of
> > > this
> > > > article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
> > > >
> > > >       The deceased husband of a friend of mine wrote this! (He
> > > mysteriously
> > > > passed on shortly after writing this. The cause of death is still
> under
> > > > investigation).