[Rhodes22-list] Jokes

[Paul Grandholm]

>1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that =

>  person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. =

>
>
>2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, =

>  but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the =

>  stairs. =

>
>3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the =

>  end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." =

>
>4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals =

>  dying of nothing. =

>
>5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table =

>  had an argument going. =

>
>6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one =

>  talks about seeing UFOs like they use to. =

>
>7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice =

>  about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they =

>  notice about men is they're a bunch of liars. =

>
>8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. =

>
>9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no =

>  attention to criticism. =

>
>10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred =

>  dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? =

>
>11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the =

>  world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. =

>
>12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have =

>  come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. =

>
>13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers =

>  exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly =

>  disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and =

>  inexplicable.  There is another theory which states that this has =

>   already happened. =

>
>14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it =

>  takes a whole box to start a campfire? =

>
>15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, =

>     but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as =

>    10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late =

>     with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster=
 in 
>     charge of immigration. =




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Paul Grandholm
C&H Technology
GrandPower Components Div.
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