[Rhodes22-list] Joke: John Cleese! gotta love him

[Gardner, Douglas L. (LNG-DAY)]

(best if read aloud in a John Cleese voice)

Axis of Evil Wannabees
> > > by John Cleese> >

 Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just
as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his Stateof the
Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are
just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim
Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil
we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over
being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join
the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President
Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries",
explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's
tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil
Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is
wickedly cool." International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil
declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
what has become a game of geopolitical musical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and
Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil",
forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of
Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the
"Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable". With
the criteria suddenly  expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up,
Sierra Leone, El  Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of
Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
Olympics".  Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations
That Are  Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts
About  America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the
"Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a
threat really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive
First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the other nations of
the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted
approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the
"Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its
members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay,
and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't
want to join any Axis, but privately  leaders said that's only because
they hadn't yet been asked.