[Rhodes22-list] Jokes? - A matter of opinoin

[Ronald Lipton]

>Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
>stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion
>allowed per passenger."
>
>Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became
>a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never
>amounted to much - he became known as the lesser of two weevils.
>
>A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the
>bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
>
>Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He
>wanted to transcend dental medication.
>
>A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
>lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the
>manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they
>asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts
>boasting in an open foyer."
>
>A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
>family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain;
>they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
>birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
>wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
>twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
>
>Three friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small
>florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the
>men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
>He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back
>and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist
>hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
>"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
>saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so,
>thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
>
>Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
>produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little,
>which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
>breath. This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
>