[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

You see them every day -- in your home, at the supermarket, and in TV
commercials -- tried and true products like Dial soap, Budweiser beer and
Hershey's Kisses. But do you know how these familiar brands got their names?
Author Joey Green does and he shares his secrets in the entertaining new
book, "Joey Green's Incredible Country Store: Potions, Notions and Elixirs
of the Past."

Here, exclusively for ENQUIRER readers, are the fascinating origins of some
of America's best-loved products:

BABY RUTH CANDY BAR - The Baby Ruth candy bar was NOT named after Babe Ruth,
but after "Baby" Ruth Cleveland, the daughter of former President Grover
Cleveland in 1921. The Yankee legend did endorse a knock-off called "Babe
Ruth Home Run Bar," but Baby Ruth's bosses went to court and forced the
competitor off the market.

CRACKER JACK - Candy coated popcorn, peanuts and a prize -- that's what you
get in Cracker Jack! The popular treat got its name when a salesman,
sampling the mix for the first time in 1899, exclaimed, "That's
crackerjack!" -- meaning very good. And a snack star was born.

DR. PEPPER - Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too? In 1885, Charles
Alderton, the inventor of Dr Pepper soft drink, named the beverage after Dr.
William R. Pepper of Virginia when the doctor refused to allow his daughter
Minerva to marry Alderton, who was from Waco, Texas. The strategy didn't
work and Alderton married another woman, but the name stuck. And it's a good
thing ... Alderton originally called the drink "Waco."

HERSHEY'S KISSES - The candy, invented by Milton S. Hershey in 1907, is
named for the sound the machine nozzles made as they squirted out each
dollop of chocolate.

LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK CAKES - The treats from the McKee Baking Company of
Tennessee are named after the founder's granddaughter, Debbie McKee, who was
a young girl in 1960 when she posed for the picture on the packages.

MILK DUDS - The chocolates were created in 1926 when the maker, F. Hoffman &
Company of Chicago, tried to produce a perfectly round candy and instead
mistakenly made lopsided, but delicious, "duds."

TOOTSIE ROLL - The chewy treats were named for "Tootsie," the 5-year-old
daughter of inventor Leo Hirshfield, an Austrian immigrant, who began
selling the treats in New York City in 1905.

DAIRY QUEEN - Who's the original Dairy Queen? Company founder J.F.
McCullough came up with the name in 1940 when the first ice-cream store
opened in Joliet, Ill. He said it was in honor of the real queen of the
dairy industry -- the cow!

DIAL SOAP - Dial became a brand in 1948 because execs at the Armour Soap Co.
wanted to get across the idea that it offered round-the-clock protection. To
emphasize the point, they used a clock dial for the emblem.

IVORY SOAP - The white soap came about by accident in 1879, after a Procter
& Gamble employee left the mixing machine on when he went to lunch, and got
too much air into the soap he was making. The extra whipping made the 99
44/100 percent pure soap float and gave the product one of its greatest
selling points.

BUDWEISER BEER - Brewmeister Carl Conrad christened his beer Budweiser after
the Bohemian town of Budweis in 1876, because the townsfolk were famous for
making a similar-style beer.

VICTORIA'S SECRET - Just what IS Victoria's Secret? Ironically, the sexy
lingerie company bought by Leslie Wexner, owner of The Limited clothing
chain in 1982, was named after prudish Queen Victoria.

 - from Scott Beattie

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(Mumf note: found this article kinda interesting -- it seems ludicrous that
in a profession, such as (but not limited to) hockey, that the rules allow
one player to behave towards another player in a way that, if done off the
ice, would be criminalized; if our legal system is going to punish athletes
for physical abuses while participating in their respective sports, I would
think that a clear line should be drawn that says that anything beyond "x"
will be prosecuted OR they should simply leave it alone and all participants
realize that ANYTHING GOES AND WHAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS -- LIVE OR DIE WITH THE
CONSEQUENCES!)

Think what you will about British Columbia's criminal justice system taking
almost four months to charge Vancouver Canucks forward Todd Bertuzzi with
assault with intent to injure after he attacked Colorado Avalanche Steve
Moore during a game and fractured three vertebrae.

It's not like it came without warning.

Not to trivialize the pain and needless injury suffered by Moore, the
foolishness of Bertuzzi and the stain on the game itself, but hockey has a
history of assault that rivals that of a street gang.

The NHL is no different. Just look at the wrap sheet:

1988: Minnesota North Stars forward Dino Ciccarelli was convicted of assault
for striking Toronto defenseman Luke Richardson several times over the head
with his stick. Ciccarelli was sentenced to one day in jail and fined $1,000
CDN.

1982: Winnipeg Jets tough guy Jimmy Mann was fined $500 and given a
suspended sentence after being charged with assault for leaving the bench
and hitting Paul Gardner of the Pittsburgh Penguins, breaking his jaw in two
places.

1977: Dave (Tiger) Williams, then on the roster of the Toronto Maple Leafs,
was acquitted of assault for hitting Pittsburgh's Dennis Gonchar with his
stick in a game at Maple Leaf Gardens.

1977: Dan Maloney then with the Detroit Red Wings was acquitted of charges
for assaulting Toronto's Brian Glennie.

1975: Dave Forbes of the Boston Bruins was charged with aggravated assault
after a fight with Minnesota's Henry Boucha. The trial ended in a hung jury
and the prosecutor eventually dropped the charges.

1969: In one of the most infamous on-ice incidents of all time, Wayne Maki
of the St. Louis Blues and Ted Green of the Boston Bruins went to court
after a stick-swinging affair during a preseason game in Ottawa. Green
suffered a fractured skull. Maki was not injured. Both were charged and
acquitted of assault.

There are others.

In 2001, Marty McSorley was convicted of assault but wasn't required to
serve time after he whacking Donald Brashear across the head with his stick
in an attack that was noted more for its apparent premeditation than the
actual injury.

Even the legendary Maurice "Rocket" Richard was involved in a brawl that led
to a lengthy suspension and the threat of criminal action.

So the question is, what happens next?

History shows us that in the short-term, nothing changes. If anything, the
NHL is more experienced than all other professional sports leagues combined
in dealing with criminal charges against its players and the way they play
the game.

There's a better than 50-50 chance that Bertuzzi will be convicted of
something, does little to no jail time and eventually returns to the NHL
rinks. There likely will be a nasty little civil suit, one that could cost
him and the NHL a great deal of money, perhaps shaking the game right down
to its financial foundations.

But for now, the game will go on.

In the bigger picture, however, the ramifications are huge. The NHL likes to
say it should be left alone, that it can police itself and that the criminal
courts should have no jurisdiction over what takes place on the ice because
of the implied risk of injury, and even assault.

But as any good lawyer will tell you -- and NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman is
a lawyer -- there is a standard that comes into play here. The league has a
track record of violence. It says it can contain the violence, but history
shows it cannot. And that's a problem -- despite reasonable efforts by
reasonable men, the never-ending series of "incidents" brings precedent into
the picture.

A good attorney, in either a criminal or civil case, would be able to argue
that in fact the NHL cannot or does not police itself adequately and in fact
condones an environment that leads to the action.

This may be a tad too legal for casual sports fans, but Bettman has to be
concerned. As he once pointed out, a company is on firm legal ground if it
takes reasonable precautions and than suffers a tragedy, like a fan being
struck in the head by a puck and dying.

The courts understand that accidents happen. But if it happens again, they
aren't as forgiving. They'll want to know what the league did to protect its
fans. If it did nothing, it's liable for whatever happens. That's why the
NHL installed netting behind the goal cages in every building after a
teenage fan at a Columbus Blue Jackets game was struck by a puck and died.
It wasn't just the right thing to do; it was the legally smart thing to do,
as well.

That's what makes the Bertuzzi case so dangerous to the NHL. The sheet shows
that even though the league punishes offenders, the punishments aren't
deterrents. Any good attorney would argue the league hasn't been able to
police itself, then hold up the record for all to see.

So, the question isn't whether or not the NHL saw this coming.

It's whether it changes how the game will go on.

Jim Kelley is the NHL writer for ESPN.com

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