[Rhodes22-list] joke - stupid people

[stan]

thanks Brad,

I put in evidence your last sentence and rest my case.

(just taking a two second breather)

ss/gbi

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "brad haslett" <flybrad at yahoo.com>
To: <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 11, 2005 6:06 PM
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] joke - stupid people


> 
> I can't vouch for the truth of these stories but
> nothing suprises me.  The bit about the liferaft rings
> true because that IS the way a liferaft works.  This
> much I do know; one of my friends and a "debrief"
> buddy is a public defender here in Shelby County,
> Tennessee.  He had to run out of the courtroom last
> week to keep from laughing (it wasn't his client). 
> The defendant was a garden variety Memphis rapist,
> stabber, shooter, etc. charged with a violent act in a
> domestic dispute.  The judge asked, "why didn't you
> just call 9/11?"  His reply, "I didn't know the
> number".  Brad
> 
> 
> Number One Idiot of 2004
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
> toxicology at the  poison control center.  Today, this
> woman called in very upset because she caught her
> little daughter eating ants.  I quickly reassured her
> that the  ants are not harmful and there would be no
> need to bring her daughter into  the hospital.  She
> calmed down and at the end of the conversation
> happened  to mention that she gave her daughter some
> ant poison to eat in order to  kill the ants.  I told
> her that she better bring her daughter into 
> the emergency room right away.  Here's your sign,
> lady.  Wear it with pride.
> 
> Number Two Idiot of 2004 Early this year, some Boeing
> employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft
> from one of the 747's.  They were successful in
> getting it out
> of the plane and home.  Shortly after they took it for
> a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard
> helicopter coming towards them.  It turned out that
> the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
> beacon that  activated when the raft was inflated. 
> They are no longer employed at Boeing.  Here's your
> sign, guys.  Don't get it wet; the paint might 
> run.
> 
> Number Three Idiot of 2004
> A true story out of San Francisco:  A man, wanting to
> rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
> and wrote, "this is a stickup.  Put all
> your muny in this bag."  While standing in line,
> waiting to give his note to the  teller, he began to
> worry that someone had seen him write the note 
> and might call the police before he reached the
> teller's window.  So he left the  Bank of America and
> crossed the street to Wells Fargo.  After waiting a 
> few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
> Fargo teller.  She read it and, surmising from his
> spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light
> in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
> stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
> America deposit slip and that he would either have to
> fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
> of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,
> "OK," and left.  He was arrested a few minutes later,
> as he was waiting in line back at Bank of 
> America.> Don't bother with this guy's sign.  He
> probably couldn't read it anyway.
> 
> Number Four Idiot of 2004
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun
> and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. 
> After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
> the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
> behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier
> to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused
> and said, "because I don't believe you are over 21." 
> The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
> give it to him because he didn't believe him.  At this
> point, the robber took his driver's license out of 
> his wallet and gave it to the clerk.  The clerk looked
> it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
> and he put the Scotch in the bag.  The robber then ran
> from the store with his loot.  The cashier promptly
> called the police and gave the name and address of the
> robber that he got off the license.  They arrested the
> robber two hours later.  This guy 
> definitely needs a sign!
> 
> Idiot Number Five of 2004
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
> nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted,
> "Nobody move!"  When his partner moved, the
> startled first bandit shot him.  This guy doesn't need
> a sign; he probably figured it out himself.
> 
> Idiot Number Six of 2004 Seems this guy wanted some
> beer pretty badly.  He decided that he'd 
> just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
> window, grab some booze, and  run.  So, he lifted the
> cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
> window.  The cinder block bounced back and hit the
> would-be thief on the head, knocking him nconscious. 
> It seems the liquor store window was made of
> plexiglas.  The whole event was caught on videotape. 
> Oh, thatsmarts. Give him his sign.
> 
> Idiot Number Seven of 2004
> Ann Arbor:  The Ann Arbor News crime column reported
> that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti,
> Michigan at 12:50 AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash.
> The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
> open the cash register without a food order.  When the
> man ordered onion rings, the clerk
> said they weren't available for breakfast.  The man,
> frustrated, walked away.  Sign please.
> 
> Please note that all of the above people are allowed
> to vote (andbreed). Scary, isn't it?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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