[Rhodes22-list] Brad: A follow up to the MN story

[brad haslett]

Slim, here's a song for your next gig.  Brad

The Lefse Song
Author Unknown
 
[Sung to the tune of "Camptown Races"]

Norsky ladies sing dis song...Uff Da! Uff Da.
Bake dat lefse all day long...all da Uff Da day.
Bake it till it's almost brown...Uff Da! Uff Da.
Makes you yump yust like a clown...all da Uff Da Day.

(CHORUS)
Gonna bake all night...gonNa bake all day
I'll spend my money on potatoes and flour...
To have me an Uff Da day.

Vent down town for some lutefisk...Uff Da! Uff Da!
De vedder vas so cold and brisk, all da Uff Da day.
Used my lefse for a Mackinaw...Uff Da...Uff Da
Greatest yacket I ever saw...Lefse saved da day.
(CHORUS)

Vent to town in my Model T...Uff Da...Uff Da.
Tire vent flat and I said "poor me."...it Vas an Uff
Da day
Used dat lefse for a patch...Uff Da...Uff Da!
Now I gotta bake me anodder batch...Oh da Uff Da day.
(CHORUS)

Last vinter I lost my undervear...Uff Da! Uff Da!
But dis Norvegian didn't care...all da Uff Da day.
Sewed some lefse into BVD's...Uff Da...Uff Da.
Fixed me up so I didn't freeze...all da Uff Da day.
(CHORUS)

Ven day ask me how I spell "relief"...Uff Da...Uff Da
I tell dem lefse saves me grief, any Uff Da day
Don't need Rolaids or Di-Yell...Uff Da, Uff Da
Yust give me lefse and I'll get well, any old Uff Da
day.
(FINAL CHORUS)
    

  

 





 

 
 
 
 

--- Steve Alm <salm at mn.rr.com> wrote:

> WARNING:  For any of you infidel Swedes or Catholics
> that might be thinking
> of desecrating any lefse,  I will hunt you down like
> the dogs you are!
> Sven
> 
> On 5/19/05 7:12 PM, "Steve Alm" <salm at mn.rr.com>
> wrote:
> 
> > OK, cut it out you guys!  I'm laughing too hard. 
> Obviously this is a false
> > report because never would a Packer fan and a
> Viking fan collaborate on
> > anything.  Tell 'em, Rummy!
> > 
> > You just wait until the REAL story breaks:  The
> Lefse Scandal.
> > 
> > Sven
> > 
> > On 5/19/05 6:00 PM, "Jim White" <jdwhite at utpa.edu>
> wrote:
> > 
> >> 
> >> 
> >> 
> >> 
> >> Peace Elusive in Strife-Torn Midwest
> >> 
> >> Decorah, IA - Long-simmering tensions in the
> volatile Midwest erupted into
> >> violence yesterday, as Lutheran extremists from
> the shadowy Uff Da group
> >> claimed responsibility for the early morning
> egging of Doug's Dairy Freeze
> >> and igniting a bag of dog excrement that claimed
> the left shoe of Decorah
> >> Mayor Harold Zander.
> >> 
> >> In a taped statement broadcast during the Morning
> Soybean Report on radio
> >> station KOEL in nearby Oelwein, an Uff Da
> spokesman identified only as
> >> 'Commandante Greg' said that "the infidels have
> desecrated the Holy Land
> >> and now they have paid for their heresy," adding
> that "God is pretty great,
> >> you betcha."
> >> 
> >> Meanwhile, the Des Moines Register reported that
> the flare up would likely
> >> stall negotiations for the historic Midwest
> Accords.
> >> 
> >> Reacting to the latest Presbyterian offer,
> Urbandale Honda-Acura spokesman
> >> Kevin Westergaard released a tersely worded
> statement declaring "I dunno, I
> >> better talk to my manager about dat."
> >> 
> >> Last night's attacks further cemented the Middle
> West's reputation as a
> >> powder keg of ethnic antagonism, religious
> extremism and delicious dairy
> >> products.
> >> 
> >> While the recent events have focused public
> attention on the region, the
> >> roots of the current crisis can be traced back
> decades.
> >> 
> >> Ancient Animosities
> >> 
> >> Once described by former British Prime Minister
> Winston Churchill as "an
> >> enigma, wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by
> mystery, deep fried and covered
> >> with melted cheddar," the Midwest has long
> baffled outsiders.
> >> 
> >> The region was first discovered in 1956 by Mark
> Polo, a Levittown, N.Y.
> >> accountant, while searching for an overland
> passage to Anaheim and the
> >> famed treasures of Disneyland.
> >> 
> >> "Polo's young daughter had a notoriously weak
> bladder, so he was forced to
> >> seek emergency refuge at the ancient Stuckeys
> Oasis near Bettendorf, Iowa,"
> >> explained Julian Whitby, a Senior Fellow at
> Harvard's Institute for Midwest
> >> Studies. "He was impressed by the region's rich
> culture, gigantic pecan
> >> logs and sparkling clean restrooms."
> >> 
> >> So impressed, in fact, that he wrote many
> postcards praising the area.
> >> Soon, dozens of station wagon caravans would
> venture west on Interstate 80
> >> - the legendary "Cornsilk Road" - in search of
> exotic jackalopes and
> >> comically giant ears of corn.
> >> 
> >> This wave of strange outlanders from the East
> caused alarm among Midwestern
> >> traditionalist.
> >> 
> >> "Many, especially the Lutheran hierarchy, came to
> see the outsiders as a
> >> threat to their culture and way of life, infidel
> crusaders bent on
> >> pillaging their cinnamon rolls and Old Style,"
> said Whitby.
> >> 
> >> A Turning Point
> >> 
> >> Regional tensions further escalated after the
> 1964 settlement of
> >> Presbyterian refugees from Pennsylvania near
> Zionsville, Indiana. Those
> >> tensions simmered steadily before finally
> erupting nearly a decade later.
> >> 
> >> In 1973, enraged Lutherans challenge the
> Presbyterians to a slo-pitch
> >> softball game, and were subsequently humiliated
> 463-2. Adding insult, the
> >> Lutherans were forced to cede five kegs of Hamms
> to the victorious
> >> Presbyterians.
> >> 
> >> While the fateful "7 Inning War" secured a
> Presbyterian presence in the
> >> region, it also stoked a new wave of resentment
> among Lutherans.
> >> 
> >> A new generation of disaffected Lutheran youth
> from South Dakota to Ohio
> >> turned to violence, smashing Presbyterian
> mailboxes and crushing themselves
> >> under Presbyterian holsteins during kamikaze cow
> tipping missions. But
> >> nothing has stoked Lutheran rage more than the
> influence of California.
> >> 
> >> Many here see the state as the embodiment of
> evil, a dark force funding the
> >> Presbyterians of Zionsville and corrupting
> Lutheran youth with its decadent
> >> culture.
> >> 
> >> Pastor Duane Gunderson, the enigmatic spiritual
> leader of the Uff Da
> >> movement, is outspoken in his condemnation of
> Californianism.
> >> 
> >> "Does not Zionsville get its decadent softball
> uniforms from California?"
> >> Gunderson asked in a recent interview with the
> French newspaper Le Monde .
> >> "The West blasphemes the holy land with its
> extreme skateboards and
> >> pretentious shrimp and goat cheese pizzas. It is
> the infidel of a thousand
> >> infidels, dontcha know."
> >> 
> >> The Voice of Lutheran Rage
> >> 
> >> Although he disavowed any prior knowledge of
> yesterday's attacks, many
> >> believe the brooding, charismatic Gunderson was
> their mastermind.
> >> 
> >> The son of a wealthy Minneapolis basement
> paneling contractor and school
> >> secretary, analysts say Gunderson was radicalized
> after a chance 1972
> >> meeting with teen actress Maureen McCormick, who
> played Marcia Brady in the
> >> television program The Brady Bunch.
> >> 
> >> "He was a gawky, 14-year old Midwesterner on his
> first California
> >> vacation," said Stanley Shapiro of the Georgetown
> Center for Intra-national
> >> Strategy.
> >> 
> >> "During a studio tour, he saw McCormick in a
> studio commissary, and became
> >> tongue-tied when he tried to ask for her
> autograph. When the young starlet
> >> laughed at his stammering, he wet his pants and
> ran away in tears," said
> >> Shapiro.
> >> 
> >> "That's the key to understanding regional
> tensions," adds Shapiro. "It's
> >> always Marcia, Marcia, Marcia."
> >> 
> >> The traumatic encounter hardened Gunderson, whose
> psychosexual 
=== message truncated ===


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