[Rhodes22-list] A letter home (Humor)

[R22RumRunner at aol.com]

LETTER  FROM A FARM KID, (NOW AT San Diego MARINE  CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING.) 
Dear Ma and  Pa, 
I am well. Hope you  are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine 
Corps beats working  for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to  join up quick 
before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first  because you got to 
stay in bed till nearly 6 A.M. but I am getting so I  like to sleep late. Tell 
Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is  smooth your cot, and shine some 
things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch,  mash to mix, wood to split, fire to 
lay. Practically nothing. Men got to  shave but it is not so bad, there's warm 
water. Breakfast is strong on  trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, 
bacon, etc., but kind of weak on  chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie 
and other regular food,  but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the 
two city boys that live  on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon 
when you get fed  again. 
It's no wonder these  city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," 
which the platoon  sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, 
it's not my  place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to 
our  mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back 
in  trucks. The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school  
teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and  
colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next  will 
kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for  shooting. I don't 
know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk  head and don't move, 
and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at  home. All you got to do 
is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't  even load your own 
cartridges. They come in boxes.  Then we have what  they call hand-to-hand combat 
training. You get to wrestle with them city  boys. I have to be real careful 
though, they break real easy. It ain't  like fighting with that ole bull at home. 
I'm about the best they got in  this except for that Tug Jordan from over in 
Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He  joined up the same time as me, but I'm 
only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's  6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. 
Be sure to tell Walt  and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get 
onto this setup and  come stampeding in. 
Your loving  daughter,
Judy