[Rhodes22-list] Joke

Michael Meltzer mjm at michaelmeltzer.com
Thu Jun 22 08:59:32 EDT 2006


ONE GOOD REASON WHY NOT TO FLIRT!!!!!

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party.
 
The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party
alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she
was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his
good time to be spoiled by not going.
 
So he took his costume and away he went.
 
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke Without pain and as
it was still early, decided go to the party. As her husband didn't know what
her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband
to see how he acted when she was not with him.
 
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume,
cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he
could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
 
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left
his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as
far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
 
After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear
and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate
intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped
away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what
kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.
 
She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time
he had.
 
"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not
there."
 
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
 
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there,
I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room
and played poker all evening."
 
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all
night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
 
To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad,
apparently he had the time of his life."


> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org [mailto:rhodes22-list-
> bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of brad haslett
> Sent: Thursday, June 22, 2006 1:04 AM
> To: The Rhodes 22 mail list
> Subject: RE: [Rhodes22-list] Joke
> 
> MJM,
> 
> Back atcha!  Brad
> 
> 
> A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging
> two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand.
> There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a
> while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the
> pavement.
> 
> Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there
> are $20 bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!" says
> the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if
> I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"
> 
> "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you
> get all that money?" " Did you steal it?"
> 
> "Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back
> yard backs up to the parking lot of the football
> stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come
> and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"
> 
> "So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge
> clipper, and each time someone sticks his little
> thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it
> comes!"
> 
> "Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck!
> By the way, what's in the other bag?"
> 
> "Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay
> up"....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------
> 
> 
> 
> --- Michael Meltzer <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com> wrote:
> 
> > An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner
> > together in a small
> > tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife,
> > "Do you remember the first
> > time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We
> > went behind this tavern
> > where you leaned against the fence and I made love
> > to you." "Yes," she says,
> > "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "How about
> > taking a stroll round there
> > again and we can do it for old time's sake.
> > "Oooooooh, Henry, you old devil,
> > that sounds like a good idea," she answers.
> >
> >
> >
> > There's a police officer sitting in the next booth
> > listening to all this,
> > having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to
> > see these two old-
> > timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an
> > eye on them so there's
> > not any trouble." So he follows them.
> >
> >
> >
> > They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for
> > support, aided by
> > walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the
> > tavern and make their
> > way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt,
> > takes her knickers down and
> > the Old man drops his trousers. She turns around and
> > as she hangs on to the
> > fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt
> > into the most furious sex
> > that the watching policeman has ever seen.
> >
> >
> >
> > They are bucking and jumping like
> > eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about
> > forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's
> > hanging on to her hips for
> > dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.
> > The policeman is amazed.
> > He thinks he's learned something about life that he
> > didn't know.
> >
> >
> >
> > After about half an hour of lying on the ground
> > recovering, the old couple
> > struggle to their feet and put their clothes back
> > on. The policeman, still
> > watching thinks, "that was truly amazing - that old
> > man was going like a
> > train- I've got To ask him what his secret is."
> >
> >
> >
> > As the couple pass, he says to them, "That was
> > something else. You had sex
> > for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You
> > must have had a fantastic
> > life together. Is there some sort of secret?"
> >
> >
> >
> > The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an
> > electric fence."
> >
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> > [mailto:rhodes22-list-
> > > bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of brad haslett
> > > Sent: Wednesday, June 21, 2006 12:45 PM
> > > To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
> > > Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Joke
> > >
> > > Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her
> > > eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and
> > > kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to
> > call
> > > on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting
> > > room. She invited him to have a seat while she
> > > prepared tea.
> > >
> > > As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young
> > > minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top
> > of
> > > it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the
> > water
> > > floated, of all things, a condom! When she
> > returned
> > > with tea and  scones, they began to chat.
> > >
> > > The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the
> > > bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it
> > got
> > > the better of him and He could no longer resist.
> > "Miss
> > > Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me
> > > about this?" pointing to the bowl.
> > >
> > > "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was
> > > walking through the Park a few months ago and I
> > found
> > > this little package on the ground. The directions
> > said
> > > to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
> > > would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I
> > > haven't had the flu all winter?"
> > >
> > >
> > >
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> >
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> >
> 
> 
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