[Rhodes22-list] Do you see yourself?

[elle]

A glimpse into what the future holds:

elle

The first one is for Commodore Spitzer:

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's
house, and after eating, the wives left the table and
went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking,
and one said,  "Last night we went out to a new
restaurant an d it was really great I would recommend
it very highly." The  other man said, "What is the
name of the restaurant?" 
>>The first man thought and thought and finally said,
"What is the 
>>name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... the one
>>that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned
towards the 
>>kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that
restaurant we went to last night? 



>>An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems
for a number of years.
>>He went to the doctor and the doctor was ab le to
have him fitted for a set
>>of hearing aids that allowed th e gentleman to hear
100%. The elderly
>>gentleman went back in a  month to the doctor and
the doctor said, "Your
>>hearing is perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear
>>again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told
my family yet. I just 
>>sit around and listen to the conversations.  I've
changed my will 
>>three times!" 
>>
>>
>>
>>Keep reading       
>>
>>
>> 
>>Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a 
>>bench under a tree when one turns to the other and
says: "Slim,
>>I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and
pains. I know 
>>you're about my age. How do you feel?"      
>>Slim says, "I feel just  like a newborn baby." 
>>"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" No hair, no teeth,
and I think I just wet my pants. 
>>

>>Keep Reading       
>>
>>
>>
>>Couple in their nineties are       both having
problems remembering 
>>things. During a checkup, the doctor       tells
them that they're 
>>physically okay, but they might  want to       start
writing things down 
>>to help them remember Later that night,       while
watching TV, the
>>old man gets up fro m his chair. "Want anything   
   while I'm in the 
>>kitchen?" he  asks. 
"Will you get me a bowl       of ice cream?" 
"Sure." 
"Don't you think you should write it down       so you
can remember it?" she
asks. 
"No, I c an remember it."      
>>"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe
you should       
>>write it down, so's not to forget it?" 
He says, "I can remember       that. You want a bowl
of ice cream with
>>strawberries." 
"I'd also       like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll
forget that,
>>write it down?" she       asks. 
>>Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down,
I can       remember 
>>it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream -
I got it,       for 
>>goodness sake!" 
>>Then he toddles into the kitchen. 
>>After       about 20 minutes, the o ld man returns
from the kitchen and 
>>hands his       wife a plate of bacon and eggs. 
>>She stares at the plate for a moment.       
>>"Where's my toast ?" 
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> 
>>
>> KEEP READING      
>> 
>>A senior citizen said to his  eighty-year old
buddy:       "So I hear 
you're getting married?"   "Yep!" 
>>"Do I know       her?"   "Nope!" 
"This woman, is she good looking?" 
"Not       really." 
"Is she a good cook?" 
"Naw, she can't cook too well."      
>>"Does s he have lots of money?" 
>>"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."      
>>"Well, then, is she good in bed?" 
>>"I don't know."
>>"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"      
>>
>>
>>Keep Reading 
>> 
>>Three old guys are out walking.   First one says,
"Windy, isn't it?"      
>>Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" 
>>Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer.
>> 
>> Keep Reading       
>>
>>
>>A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new
hearing aid. 
>>It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of
the art It's 
>>perfect." "Really," answered the  neighbor . "What
kind is it?" 
>>"Twelve thirty."      
>>
>>
>>Keep Reading       
>> 
>>Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to
get a physical.
>>A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down
the street with a
>>gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days
later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just
doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I
said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.
>> 
>>One More
>> 
>>A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream
parlor and 
>>pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching 
>>his breath, he ordered a banana split. 
>>The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" 
>>"No," he replied, "Arthritis." 
>> 


We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.


 
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