[Rhodes22-list] Open door stories (humor)

[Brad Haslett]

Good one!

On a related note, I was flying a Doctor who was a prized Polled Hereford
breeder from the Kentucky State Fair back to Arkansas in a Twin Comanche one
night.  One of his "cow hands" had been drinking beer most of the evening
and asked "how long till we land?" with about an hour and a half to go.  I
said, "just hold on, we'll be there in twenty minutes".  An hour in the
"just twenty minutes" story he couldn't take it anymore and borrowed his
seat mates cardboard pint milk carton.  Two quarts into the pint container I
heard the screams from his back seat partner.  "What the hell?" thought
Bradley, the damage has already been done. Remind me some day to tell the
story about the wife of the largest brokerage firm off of Wall Street who
tried to take a dump in "the bucket" on the jet who's "bucket" had been
pre-loaded a few weeks before but missed by us on the pre/post flight.

Ah, those were the days!

Brad

On Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 4:31 PM, Michael D. Weisner <mweisner at ebsmed.com>
wrote:

> Brad,
>
> There are many stories, of which only a few may be mentioned on a public
> forum.
>
> The worst story was of a fellow flight instructor who suffered from an
> enlarged prostate and decided to relieve himself while his student flew
> the
> aircraft.  It was a Cessna 150, I think, and the story goes that the door
> sprung back on him at an inopportune moment.  While he regained his
> composure, he somehow lost his wallet.  Fortunately, the wallet was
> returned
> to his home by mail several days later.  A note inside the package said
> that
> it was found in the parking lot of a local "by the hour" hotel by a maid.
> Needless to say, his wife didn't believe any of it.
>
> Ah, the good ol' days.
>
> Mike
> s/v Shanghai'd Summer ('81)
> Nissequogue River, NY
>
> From: "Brad Haslett" <flybrad at gmail.com>Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 9:43
> AM
> > Mike,
> >
> > Is there a story there you need to tell?
> >
> > What made me think of the idea was an incident that happened in South
> > Arkansas from the 70's.  A guy took off from Warren, AR and landed in
> Ft.
> > Smith after traversing the Quachita mountains. Upon landing he reported
> to
> > the authorities that somewhere en route his wife "fell out".  They never
> > found a body and he was never charged with a crime.
> >
> > I've had a number of doors pop open over the years but never lost
> anything
> > but a map.
> >
> > Brad
> >
> > On Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 8:28 AM, Michael D. Weisner <mweisner at ebsmed.com
> >
> > wrote:
> >
> >> Brad,
> >>
> >> Your solution to the problem is interesting - more like keel-hauling.
>  As
> >> the father of three daughters, I may understand your position.
> >>
> >> Please note that while testing the door, you must certainly keep a
> tight
> >> lid
> >> on the inflight ice bucket as stray ice chunks sucked into the
> slipstream
> >> striking the craft during takeoff have been known to cause damage to
> the
> >> fuselage and may affect your ability to land, to say nothing of the
> >> effect
> >> of the consumption of alcohol.
> >>
> >> Mike
> >> s/v Shanghaid'd Summer ('81)
> >>      Nissequogue River, NY
> >>
> >> From: "Brad Haslett" <flybrad at gmail.com>Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2008
> >> 6:32
> >> AM
> >> > Robert,
> >> >
> >> >Dragging those who deserve being drug through the chaparral is so
> 90's,
> >> > 1890's that is.  I fixed the door on my Bonanza so it no longer pops
> >> open
> >> > on takeoff, and it only opens about two inches into the slipstream
> >> anyway,
> >> > but, with the right carelessness in latching and a combination of
> slow
> >> > flight and side slip it will open much farther.  Some experimentation
> >> may
> >> > be in
> >> > order to avoid having objects that are "sucked" out of the cockpit
> hit
> >> the
> >> > tail.
> >> > Perhaps just being a passenger for one of the test flights would be
> >> enough
> >> > to 'cure' most evil doers.  Ask me in a few years when my daughter
> >> starts
> >> > dating.
> >> >
> >> > Brad
> >> >
> >>
> >>
> >> __________________________________________________
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> >>
> > __________________________________________________
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> >
> >
>
>
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