[Rhodes22-list] Fw: Home projects

[elle]

I'm in here...where are you??? :^)

elle



> > You are in the middle of some kind of project around
> the house: mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in,
> painting the living room, or whatever.  You are hot and sweaty,
> coveredin dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on.
> You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old
> > T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old
> pair of tennis shoes.
> > 
> >               Right in the middle of this great home
> > improvement project you realize you need to run to
> Wal-Mart
> > to get something to help complete the job.
> > 
> >               Depending on your age you might do the
> > following:
> > 
> > 
> >               In your 20's:

> > 
> >               Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a
> > shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss,
> and put
> > on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and
> flex. Add
> > a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know,
> you
> > just might meet some hot chick while standing in the
> > checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl
> > running the register.
> > 
> > 
> >               In your 30's:
> > 

> >               Stop what you are doing, put on clean
> shorts
> > and shirt. Change shoes.  You married the hot chick so
> no
> > need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your
> hair.
> > Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot
> of
> > your favorite cologne to cover the smell.  The cute
> girl
> > running the register is the kid sister to someone you
> went
> > to school with.
> > 
> > 
> >               In your 40's:
> > 
> >               Stop what you are doing. Put a
> sweatshirt
> > that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of
> your
> > shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat.  Wash your
> hands.
> > Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you
> > don't want to waste any of it on a trip to
> Wal-Mart. 
> > Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in
> than
> > flexing.  The spicy young thing running the register
> is your
> > daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is
> spicy.
> > 
> > 
> >               In your 50's:
> > 
> >               Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on,
> wipe
> > the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes
> > because you don't want to get dirt in your new
> sports
> > car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to
> wear
> > that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The
> cutie
> > running the register smiles when she sees you coming
> and you
> > think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you
> have
> > on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it
> says,
> > 'I Got Worms.'
> > 
> > 
> >               In your 60's:
> > 
> >               Stop what you are doing. No need for a
> hat
> > anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror
> was
> > shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you
> have
> > underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you
> pants. 
> > The girl running the register may be cute, but you
> don't
> > have your glasses on so you are not sure.
> > 
> > 
> >               In your 70's:
> > 
> >               Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to
> > Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready,
> too.
> > Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes.  The
> young
> > thing at the register smiles at you because you remind
> her
> > of her grandfather.
> > 
> > 
> >               In your 80's:
> > 
> >               Stop what you are doing. Start again.
> Then
> > stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to
> Wal-Mart.
> > Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what
> it is
> > you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think
> someone
> > called out your name. You went to school with the old
> lady
> > who greeted you at the front door.