[Rhodes22-list] Joke - Drinking

[Brad Haslett]

 Subject: Fw: The Dangers of Drink


 Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
night.

 Mick, the bartender, says:  'You'll not be drinking any more tonight,
Paddy'.

 Paddy replies 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'.

 Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off.  He falls flat on his face.
 'What the . . . .' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts
himself off.

 He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again.  'Damn!'
he says.

 He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and
 get some fresh air he'll be fine.  He belly crawls to the door and shimmies
up the
 door frame, sticks his head outside takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels
much
 better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his
face.

 'By Jesus . . . I'm soused' he says.

 He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it.  He
crawls
 down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and looks
inside.
 He takes a look up the stairs and says:  'No flippin' way'.   But he
somehow crawls
 up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, 'I think I can make it to the
bed.'

 He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again.  He says,
'This is hell.
 I gotta stop drinking,' but manages to crawl to the bed and fall
in.

 The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee
 and says, 'get up Paddy'.  'Did you have a wee bit to drink last night?'

 Paddy says:  'I did Jess.  I was totally pissfaced.  How did you know?'

 'Mick called;  you left your wheelchair at the pub'.