[Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff

[KUHN, LELAND]

Rummy,

Very good!  It was so funny that I Googled winning entries from other
years and it looks like everyone is taking credit for this one single
"annual" contest.  The best that I can tell it happened in 2005 and it
was the Washington Post, but it was also attributed to the New York
Times and many others for several years.

Unsure about the date?

Datum (n.), ummmm I think it was in 2005.

Lee

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of
r22rumrunner at aol.com
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 7:47 AM
To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff



 

 



Once again, The  Washington Post has published the winning submissions
to 
its yearly  neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply 
alternative meanings  for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person  upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much  weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever  having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation  while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent  (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly 
answer the door in  your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8.  Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency  vehicle that picks you up after you are
run 
over by a  steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding  hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an  exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian  proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his  conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by  popular demand): The belief that,
when 
you die, your soul flies up onto the  roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the  front of boxer shorts worn by 
Jewish men.



The Washington  Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any

word from the  dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one 
letter, and  supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:


1. Bozone  (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright 
ideas from  penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign 
of breaking  down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose
of 
getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The  act of buying a house, which renders the
subject 
financially impotent for an  indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,  very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic  wit and the 
person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take  coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

7. Hipatitis (n):  Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This  one got extra
credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody  is sending off all these 
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth  explodes and it's
like, a 
serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The  grueling event of getting through the day 
consuming only things that are  good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12.  Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when 
they  come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance  performed just after
you've 
accidentally walked through a spider  web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets  into your

bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15.  Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the 
fruit  you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus  (n): A person who's both stupid and an  asshole.




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