[Rhodes22-list] Fw: Christmas Wish for You

[elle]

It's important to get it right.
elle





 
 



HOLIDAY 
EATING TIPS  
 1.  
Avoid 
carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing 
of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next 
door, where they're serving rum balls. 

2. 
Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare... You cannot find it 
any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 
calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an 
eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have 
two.  

3. 
If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy 
does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. 
Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 

4. 
As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. 
If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic 
transmission. 

5. 
Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. 
Hello?! The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's 
food for free.  

6. 
Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can 
do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long 
naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 

7. 
If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted 
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them 
and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of 
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, 
you're never going to see them again. 

8. 
Same for pies. Apple, 
Pumpkin, 
Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples 
and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one 
dessert? Labor 
Day? 


9. 
Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory 
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some 
standards. 

10. 
One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up 
from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips, and remember 
this motto: 

"Life 
should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an 
attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate 
and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 
"WOO HOO what a ride!" 

Have 
a great holiday 
season, Everyone!!