[Rhodes22-list] those who can identify...raise your hands...

Thu Feb 18 18:10:52 EST 2010

I enjoyed that one. I can't tell you what I've spent on the neighbor kids digging me out after that damn snow plow goes by! Had to forward it to all my snowed in friends.
Kathy

---- elle <watermusic38 at yahoo.com> wrote: 
> I'd imagine that many folks are feeling as the lady below..
> elle
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Funny 
> Snow Story 
>    
>    
>    
> December 8 6:00 Pm 
> It started to snow. The first snow of the season 
> and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching 
> the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses 
> print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love 
> snow!
> 
> December 9 
> We woke to a 
> beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. 
> What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? 
> Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!  Shoveled for the first time 
> in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the 
> sidewalks. 
>  
> This afternoon the snowplow came 
> along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to 
> shovel again. What a perfect life!
> 
> December 12 
> The sun has melted all 
> our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-we'll 
> definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says 
> we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow 
> again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our 
> neighbor.
> 
> December 14
> Snow, lovely snow! 8 
> inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything 
> sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the 
> driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! 
> 
> The snowplow came back this 
> afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite 
> this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I 
> wouldn't huff and puff so.
> 
> December 15
> 20 inches forecast. Sold my van 
> and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra 
> shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the 
> electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in
>  Alaska , after 
> all.
> 
> December 16
> Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in 
> the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, 
> which I think was very cruel.
> 
> December 17
> It is still way below freezing. 
> Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile 
> the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to 
> irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. 
> God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own 
> livingroom!
> 
> December 20
> Electricity is back on, but had another 14 
> inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn 
> snowplow came by twice. 
> Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they 
> said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only 
> hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might 
> have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel 
> or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
> 
> December 22
> Bob was right about a white 
> Christmas because 13 more inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold, 
> it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to 
> go out to shovel and then I had to ****. By the time I got undressed, ****ed and 
> dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on 
> his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the 
> ******* is lying.
> 
> December 23
> Only 2 inches of 
> snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of 
> the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! 
> Why didn't she tell me to do 
> that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
> 
> December 
> 24
> 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I 
> was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a ***** who drives that 
> snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death 
> with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to 
> finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and 
> throws snow all over where I've just been! 
> Tonight the wife wanted me to 
> sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy 
> watching for the damn snowplow.
> 
> December 25
> Merry f---ing 
> Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in! The idea of 
> shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! 
> Then the snowplow 
> driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. 
> The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have 
> to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the 
> microwave.
> 
> December 26
> Still snowed in. 
> Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on 
> my nerves.
> 
> December 27
> Temperature 
> dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for 
> him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
> 
> December 28
> Warmed up to above 
> -20. Still snowed in. The ***** is driving me crazy!!!
> 
> December 29
> 10 
> more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the 
> silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
> 
> December 
> 30
> Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for 
> a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to 
> shove the broken snow shovel up his ***. The wife went home to her mother. Nine 
> more inches predicted.
> 
> December 31
> I set fire to 
> what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
> 
> January 8
> Feels so good. 
> I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the 
> bed?   
> 
> 
> 
>       
> 
> 
>       
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